


professional confession club™

by queerbaitings



Series: i'm suffering™ [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Kuroo Tetsurou, F/F, Fukuroudani, Idk what i'm doing, Karasuno, M/M, Memes, More characters to be added, Nekoma, Seijoh - Freeform, chat fic, dont fight me for the kagehina, everyone hates kuroo sorry i dont make the rules, i forgot to add kiyoyachi for 25 chapters wow okay, kags is the problem child, kags suffers a lot btw, other schools to be added, overuse of ™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 18,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerbaitings/pseuds/queerbaitings
Summary: suga: im not scared to admit im gay for daichi id sit on his thighs all day if he let medaichi: please don't it's only been half an hour so far and i can't feel my legs[ alternatively titled: kageyama is suffering ]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i thought i'd just like,,, jump on the bandwagon ??
> 
> i've never written a hq fic before and i love hq and chatfics,, plus i never really see my ships all together ?? so ?? why not ??
> 
> also there will be excessive yamaguchi appearances in this, unlike other chatfics, because he is my absolute favourite hq character, my best boy, the light of my life, therefore i will try and include him in as much as possible
> 
> some characters may be a little different to canon gomen i've never written them before. also bc yama will be in it a lot i may project my feelings into his character js (like ships & opinions on media stuff etc)
> 
> i guess that's it ??  
> i may forget about this fic bc i forgot about my other one that i havent deleted yet yikes but hopefully i wont !! i'm super excited so !!
> 
> anyway, that's all ! enjoy !

**Suga** added  ** _sun, blueberry milk, noyaoyaoya, tanaka, tsukishima, yama, daichi,_**   _ **asahi, kiyoko, yachi, enno(shit), kinoshita**_ and  _ **narita**_  to the conversation

 **Suga** named the conversation  ** _"i am struggling"_**

suga: first things first

suga: i am very gay

sun: what does that have to do with struggling ?????

suga: im struggling bc im a gay guy that has to stay in the vicinity of daichi sawamura for longer than the average school day

noyaoyaoya: so u admit ur gay for daichi

suga: im not scared to admit im gay for daichi id sit on his thighs all day if he let me

daichi: please don't it's only been half an hour so far and i can't feel my legs

sun: what

suga: daichi and i are staying behind at school to clean the gym

daichi: i sat down for one second and suga thought it'd be a good idea to sit on my lap

daichi: he's been sitting on me for half an hour i cant move

suga: shut up at least you get to feel my ass

tsukishima: that's pretty gay

yama: yes it is

tsukishima: but we can be gayer

yama: yes we can

sun: what

noyaoyaoya: please spare us at practice

yama: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

noyaoyaoya: lord have mercy upon us simple folks

sun: i cant belive you just said folks

sun: i'm afriad i cant be friends with you anymore

noyaoyaoya: wow how tragic

tanaka: a broship is broken

noyaoyaoya: it wasnt a broship, my dear tanaka

noyaoyaoya: for everyone else's friendships pale in comparison to our broship

tanaka: bro

noyaoyaoya:  _bro_

yama: tsukki why can't we have a broship

tsukishima: you've literally sucked my dick before we've long passed the line of "broship"

yama: lol ur right sorry tsukki

suga: what the heck y'all are minors

tanaka: y'all

tsukushima: y'all

yama: y'all

sun: y'all

noyaoyaoya: y'all

suga: shut up noya you said folks

noyaoyaoya: ;(

sun: wheres kageyama

sun: i want him to toss to me

blueberry milk: hinata it's 7pm i'm not tossing to you its dark outside

sun: there he is

noyaoyaoya: KAGEYMA

tanaka: TOSS FOR HIM

sun: thanks  _y'all_

suga: i said it once

blueberry milk: im not tossing to you dumbass

sun: :'(

suga: kageyama you're grounded

suga: you made hinata sad

kageyama: youre not my mum??

suga: yes i am??

daichi: suga we're literally all 16, 17 and 18

daichi: we're not your children

suga: not you daichi u silly

suga: ur my husband

daichi: we're not dating though

suga: details, details

noyaoyaoya: but asahi's your age he cant be your son

suga: he's the yakuza uncle

asahi: why are you like this

suga: why is he summoned when someone says he looks shady

suga: does he...

suga: have something to hide?

asahi: oh my god no suga what the hell

asahi: i was here i just never said anything

yama: mum

suga: yes my dear underappreciated son?

yama: are you okay with your children dating each other

yama: or is that like

yama: no-go incest

suga: love is love my son

suga: but only if it's not legitimate incest

suga: if i was actually your mother i'd have to have very strong words with you!! >:(

yama: tsukki we good

tsukishima: shut up yamaguchi i'd still date you even if suga said no

suga: i'm going to overlook the "defying your mother" part of that sentence to say y'all cute

suga: if any of you say anything youre grounded

daichi: i just cant get over the fact that suga called me his husband

daichi: we're not dating

daichi: does this mean something?

daichi: or am i overreacting?

suga: dude i literally said i'm gay for you

daichi: what

sun: a confession!!?!??!?!

blueberry milk: shut up hinata

sun: lol sorry kageyama

yama: that's copyrighted

tsukishima: you owe us money, punks

sun: you cant copyright that??

sun: we didn't even use the same names

yama: it's copyrighted

tsukishima: it's ours

yama: what he said

tsukishima: shut up yamaguchi

daichi: JUST SHUT UP WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A REAL ISSUE HERE

yama: lol sorry dadchi

yama: dadchi

yama: huh

yama: daichi

yama: got it

yama: okay proceed

suga: daichi

suga: i have literally said on more than one occasion

suga: that i am very very gay for you

suga: i want to date you and go on dates and just generally

suga: ...be in your presence

suga: it doesn't matter what we do together

suga: i just want to be with you

daichi: suga...

suga: I love you, Sawamura Daichi.

daichi: Sugawara Koushi, I love you too.

blueberry milk: this is the groupchat

blueberry milk: we can literally see your messages

sun: stop complaining just because you aren't getting any action

suga: wait

yama: you mean to tell me

tsukishima: that the king

daichi: and hinata

asahi: aren't dating?

sun: no??

sun: GROSS

sun: WHY WOULD I WANT TO DATE BAKAGEYAMA

suga: he's in denial

yama: he wants sum fucc

tsukishima: you literally could have said that in a million different ways

tsukishima: but you chose that one

yama: fuck u tsukki i'm not sorry

tsukishima: what's this? yamaguchi being cool for once?

yama: what's that? tsukishima's now single?

suga: get rekt scrub

daichi: why are you like this

daichi: theyre your children you should be nice to them

suga: theyre your children too but youre always yelling at them

daichi: those shits deserve it

sun: why did everyone think that kageyama and i are dating??

sun: i don't like him like that??

blueberry milk:  ~~~~ ~~well i like you like that~~ _  
This message was deleted._

blueberry milk: lol

sun: and i already have a boyfriend??

suga: WHAT

daichi: WHAT

yama: WHAT

tsukishima: what

sun: ??

sun: is it so hard to belive?

yama: i always thought you were in love with blueberry over there

blueberry milk: lol

sun: no??

noyaoyaoya: shouyou and i are dating

sun: ^

sun: i'm dating yuu

suga: he's literally the one person i never thought you'd date

noyaoyaoya: thanks?

daichi: how come you never told us?

sun: it never occurred to me that you guys wouldn't just notice

noyaoyaoya: like when suddenly we started hanging out more than we usually did

sun: hung out on weekends

noyaoyaoya: shouyou stopped constantly bugging kageyama for tosses

daichi: and it was weird for hinata to suddenly start calling noya by his first name

suga: im a bad mother

suga: i missed all the signs of a beautiful relationship

yama: i cant believe this

yama: but you guys are cute together!

noyaoyaoya: thank you

tsukishima: i thought noya was in love with asahi? with the way he always trails around him and stuff

noyaoyaoya: i used to be

asahi: what?

noyaoyaoya: then i realised i could never have him and decided to move on :)

sun: :)

yama: what am interesting development

suga: where's kageyama? he's been quiet for a while

yama: what an interesting development

sun: what

yama: he's been quiet since you two announced you were dating

 **blueberry milk** left  **"i'm struggling"**

yama: i'll apologise

suga: thank you


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blueberry milk: leave me alone
> 
> aka it's only the second chapter but kageyama is angsty + more characters are introduced

yachi: what have i missed

sun: YACHi!!!!!!!!

sun: HI!!

yachi: hello hinata!!

yama: um i don't mean to interrupt this heartwarming reuinion

yama: but um

yama: kageyama blocked me??

sun: what

yama: i tried to apologise but he said "don't ever talk to me again"

yama: i didn't do anything extreme??

sun: i dont understand what's going on

sun: i dont even know why he went quiet

sun: what was that about?????

yama: i think it's best if he tells you himself

sun: oh

sun: okay

 _Private message between_ **sun**   _and_ **blueberry milk**

sun: hey kageyama

sun: can you please tell me what's wrong?

blueberry milk: it's none of your business

sun: are you sure i can't help

blueberry milk: leave me alone

sun: kageyama

sun: i just want to help

 _Block_   **sun** _?_

_[ yes ] [ no ]_

_You have blocked_ **sun**.

sun: kageyama?  
_Message not delivered._

sun: oh  
_Message not delivered._

**"i'm suffering"**

sun: he blocked me

yama: oh

yama: why's he so angsty?

sun: i don't know

sun: :(

 **sun** _has left_   **"i'm suffering"**

\---

 _Unblock_ **yama** _?_ **  
**

You have  _unblocked_ **yama**.

 _Unblock_ **sun** _?_

You have  _unblocked_ **sun** _._

\--

 **noyaoyaoya**   _has added_ **sun** _and_ **blueberry milk** _to_ **"i'm suffering"**

yama: i'm so sorry kageyama

blueberry milk: it's okay

blueberry milk: i overreacted

sun: kageyama!!

sun: i'm sorry for pushing your buttons!!!

blueberry milk: it's okay

blueberry milk: i'm ready to tell you what was wrong

blueberry milk: noya-san, is it okay?

noyaoyaoya: you don't need to ask my permission! :)

blueberry milk: thank you

sun: i'm so confused

blueberry milk: hinata i'm in love with you

sun: i'm so sorry

sun: i never noticed

sun: i'm so sorry!!!!!

sun: i can't return your feelings :(

blueberry milk: i know

sun: please don;t hate me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blueberry milk: i could never hate you :)

blueberry milk: i just hope this doesnt change our friendship

sun: of course not!!

sun: as long as youll have me i always want to be your friend!!

blueberry milk: of course

noyaoyaoya: i'm so proud of you kageyama

blueberry milk: are you sure youre not mad at me?

noyaoyaoya: why would i be?

noyaoyaoya: if shouyou realised he wasn't in love with me anyway and left me for you i wouldn't keep him

noyaoyaoya: sure, i'd be really sad but it's just life

noyaoyaoya: and i want shouyou to be happy, even if it's not with me

blueberry milk: that was really sweet

blueberry milk: better than i could give him

sun: yuu, i love you

noyaoyaoya: i know

sun: can you come over?

noyaoyaoya: yeah, i'll be over in a few

yama: that was gay

yama: i'm in bliss

 **yama** _has renamed the conversation_ **"professional confession club™"**

tsukishima: shut up yamaguchi

yama: ye lol sorry tsukki

yama: i know we can be gayer

suga: don't think i forgive you two for making out on the volleyball pole at practice

suga: we had children in the vicinity

yama: we  _were_ the children

suga: yes but dont forget that our yakuza ace has a glass heart

suga: poor guy

suga: the gang wont give him a break for it ;(

asahi: are you writing my tragic backstory for me?

suga: i, um

suga: no!

tsukishima: you loser

daichi: respect your mother youre grounded

suga: thx babe

yama: babe

tanaka: bbae

asahi: babe

yachi: babe

blueberry milk: babe

tsukishima: babe

enno(shit): babe* @ tanaka

tanaka: aw chikara ! you called me babe ;)

enno(shit): eat shit

tanaka: idk about shit but i'll eat enno(shit) ;))

enno(shit): you disgust me

tanaka: that's not what you said last night ;)

enno(shit): last night, i recall, i said "you repulse me, leave me alone"

tanaka:  _[screenshot]_

**enno(shit)** _went offline_

yama: is that a budding relationship i sense

tsukishima: shut up yamaguchi

yama: sorry tsukki

yama: hey suga

suga: yes

yama: did you only create this groupchat to tell us all that youre gay for daichi?

suga: ye lol but i guess we can just use it casually

sun: then can we add people?

suga: oh hinata youre back!

sun: ye lol yuu fell asleep

sun:  _[photo attached]_

yachi: he looks so cute!!

sun: i know

sun: he's adorable

yama: is his arm around your waist?

yama: that's so fucking cute!!

suga: language!! but i agree!!

suga: you guys are such a cute couple

suga: but yeah, feel free to add people!

sun: okay, i'm gonna add some people

**sun** _added_ **kenma, furry, oikawaii** _and_ **iwa**

tsukishima: fuck you hinata

furry: aw tsukki, why you gotta be like that :(

**tsukishima** _left_ **"professional confession club™"**

furry: ;(

blueberry milk: no i agree with tsukishima fuck you hinata

oikawaii: tobio-chan~!!

**blueberry milk** _left_ **"professional confession club™"**

iwa: good job shittykawa you scared him off

oikawaii: iwa-chan mean!!!

**sun** _added_ **tsukishima** _and_ **blueberry milk** _to_ **"professional confession club™"**

blueberry milk: no hinata why

sun: :)

sun: oh gotta go yuu woke up!!

kenma: who's yuu?

blueberry milk: hinata's boyfriend

kenma: wait, you and shouyou aren't dating?

blueberry milk: ...

oikawaii: oh, i see 

oikawaii: tobio-chan is jealous of this "yuu" character~~

iwa: shut up trashykawa

yama: lol sorry tsukki

tsukishima: that isnt even your name, tadashi

suga: tadashi

daichi: tadashi

furry: tadashi

asahi: tadashi

tanaka: tadashi

oikawaii: tadashi

 **tsukishima**   _went offline_

yama: lol kei getting blushy

furry: tsukki doesn't let me call him kei ;(

yama: call him tsukki again and you wont be able to call anyone anything

furry: i can take you in a fight

**tsukishima** _came online_

tsukishima: touch him and i will murder your entire family

yama: you can't take him in a fight

furry: wanna try it

tsukishima: next training camp, you, me, our fists

furry: a battle to the death

furry: whoever wins gets custody of yamaguchi

yama: i'm sure tsukki will win

yama: but even if he doesnt

yama: no thanks

tsukishima: in the words of suga

tsukishiima: get rekt scrub

**furry** _changed_ **tsukishima** _'s name to_ **tsukishitty**

tsukishitty: finally a username to match who i am inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what i'm doing but i'm bored so there may be another update tonight ??


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yama: don;t tell them how long ive been stuck with yiu
> 
> yama: it makes them pity me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it;s 2;30am and i am struggling  
> fyi spelling mistakes are always unintentional  
> also idk what the hell this is

suga: why did i just hear yamaguchi yelling 'gomen tsukki'

suga: i dont even think we're close to each other

suga: tsukishima what did you do to him

tsukishitty: i didnt do anything?

sun: I JUST SAW HIM RUN PAST MY CLASSROOM

suga: TSUKISHIMA WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM

blueberry milk: i stopped him

yama: IM SONSOORY TSUKKI

tsukishitty: you don't have anything to apologise for?

yama: IM SO SORRY

suga: what happened??

tsukishitty: i was receiving a confession and the next thing i knew tadashi was running away screaming that he was sorry

blueberry milk: i'm surprised youd receive any confessions with your personality

tsukishitty: like you can talk, king

yama: IM SOS SORRY

tsukishitty: you didn't interrupt anything

tsukishitty: i was going to reject her anyway

yama: BUT SHE WAS SO CUTE

tsukishitty: but i'm dating someone even cuter so it doesn't matter

yama: ...

blueberry milk: hes curled into a ball on the ground

suga: okay but NOW it's ur fault tsukishima

suga: u broke my son

sun: bad tsukki !!!!!!

blueberry milk: his face is really red what do i do

suga: kags, honey, sweetie, my dim-witted son

blueberry milk: that last part was unnecessary

suga: he's blushing

suga: he doesn't need anything except maybe water and air

oikawaii: lol can't believe tobio-chan doesn't know what blushing is

 **blueberry milk** _went offline_

yama: i'm sorry everyone

sun: why ??

yama: i've caused so much trouble right now

sun: it' okay !!!

suga: yeah, at least you're calm now

daichi: we've all resolved yamaguchi's problem so get to class

suga: yes daddy

 **daichi**   _left_ **"professional confession club™"**

suga: oops

suga: but get to class everyone

\---

kenma: i've been wondering but

kenma: why is this chat called "professional confession club"?

yama: professional confession club™*

yama: but so far we've had three confessions so it's only fitting, doncha think?

kenma: who confessed?

yama: suga & daichi

sun: yuu and i confessed we were dating

tsukishitty: and the king confessed his love for shorty

furry: in that order?

yama: yes

furry: poor kageyama

kenma: i confess that i hate kuroo i wish he would leave me alone

tsukishitty: bitch me too

furry: i'm wounded ;(

furry: if i left u alone who would take care of u

kenma: nobody i'll just die

kenma: at least i wont have to deal with a furry anymore though

furry: youre literally on thr same team as me we're both furies

kenma: yes but i dont say nya~~

furry: why u gotta expose me like this

tsukishitty: i can't believe kuroo tetsurou, intimidating middle blocker, says "nya"

kenma: he says n'yall too

furry: KENMA

tsukishitty: wow kuroo what game you have

 **furry** _has left_ **"professional confession club™"**

suga: two people down

suga: lots more to go

yama: do you not even know how many children yiu have

suga: no

suga: idc about you guys

yama: thanks mum

\---

 **suga** _has added_ **daichi** _and_ **furry** _to_ **"professional confession club™"**

furry: no stop i don't want to be in a place where nobody appreciates me

kenma: ...

 **kenma** _has added_ **bokuhoot** _to_ **"professional confession club™"**

bokuhoot: BRO

furry: BRO

bokuhoot:  _BRO_

furry:  _ **BRO**_

bokuhoot:  _ **B R O**_

kenma: if you say bro one more time i'm kicking both of you out

daichi: who's this?

bokuhoot: BOKUTO KOUTAROU ACE OF FUKURODANI ACADEMU

suga: hi bokuto!

sun: BOKUTO

bokuhoot: HINATA

bokuhoot: MY SON

suga: hold up

suga: YOUR son?

bokuhoot: YEAH??

suga: hinata is MY son!!

suga: treacherous leach!!!!

bokuhoot: HNATA WHOS SON ARE YOU

hinata: SUGA AND DAICHIS

bokuhoot: THE BETRAYAL

noyaoyaoya: he's gotta stay loyal to the tribe sorry bud

suga: thank u hinata, noya

sun: welcs mum

noyaoyaoya: welcs mum

furry: how did you send the same thing at the same time

noyaoyaoya: i mean

noyaoyaoya: we're sitting right next to each other??

noyaoyaoya: it's not hard to coordinate something like that

furry: sitting next to each other?

furry: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kenma: shouyou has a boyfriend kuroo stop

sun: he is my boyfriend

kenma: what

noyaoyaoya: nishinoya yuu, karasuno's libero, shouyou's boyfriend, among other things

kenma: makes sense

furry: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

furry: you getting ass noya?

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sun: NO!!!!

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sun: get out of my house

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡° )

sun: out

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡° )

furry: trouble in paradise

sun: i wouldnt actually make him leave???

noyaoyaoya: and we both know and respect that neither of us are ready for that stuff yet

yama: tsukki and i fucked on the first date

tsukishitty: that's a lie we've been dating since we were thirteen

yama: don;t tell them how long ive been stuck with yiu

yama: it makes them pity me

tsukishitty: shut up yamaguchi

yama: sorry tsukki

suga: i wish that were the case with daichi

suga: i want him to screw my brains out but he's too mmcuh of a gentleman to initiate anything

daichi: i can see everything you send here suga

suga: good be at my house in fifteen minutes we;re gonna ffuck

yama: mum pls

suga: sorry children

suga: cover your ears

 **sun, yama, tsukishitty** _and_ **noyaoyaoya** _have gone offline_

daichi: suga why are you like this

suga: are you on your way over or what

daichi: that was serious?

daichi: i'll be over in ten

 **daichi** _has gone offline_

 ~~~~suga: that;s what i thought

 **suga** _has gone offline_

furry: what just happened

kenma: i dont know but dont get any ideas

furry: ;(


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> suga: kageyama is the problem child confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the sex talk my mind is in a gutter

yachi: i'm so straight

yachi: like

yachi: have you SEEN yourselves???

yachi: you are all VERY FINE male specimens

suga: we're also all very gay male specimens

furry: very gay male specimens with boyfriends

kenma: except you kuroo

furry: ;(

yachi: ssh i'm not finished

yachi: im also VERY GAY

yachi: i mean have you SEEN kiyoko ??

yachi: like fuck me sideways please

suga: speaking of

daichi: where IS kiyoko

yachi: one time i was with her and our phones went off at the same time because of this chat and there was a look of pure disgust on her face

kiyoko: i don't know what you're talking about, hitoka-chan

kiyoko: i have never made such a face

tanaka: KIYOJO SAN

noyaoyaoya: KIYOKO-SAN

blueberry milk: hinata's got competition

sun: why so salty bakageyama

 **blueberry milk**   _left_ **"professional confession club™"**

noyaoyaoya: oh

sun: wow i

sun: i feel bad all of a sudden

sun: i'll make sure he's okay brb

suga: kageyama is the problem child confirmed

daichi: stop labelling our children

suga: tsukishima is that kid that we're proud of and is v great but is a dick sometimes

daichi: suga no

yama: tsukki's a dick all the time

suga: yamaguchi is the kid that u just kinda wanna

suga: u wanna pinch his cheeks bc he's so cute?? and tell him he did his best and ur vvvvvv proud of him

yama: thanks i guess

suga: hinata is the kid that has to drink sugar free drinks or you'll have to pawn him off to your relatives for the night

yachi: yachi is the poor girl in a house full of boys

suga: tanaka is the polite kid that gets too rowdy after he sneaks a cup of coffee

tanaka: i dont need coffee to be rowdy

suga: noya is the kid you wanna strangle because he's too happy and energetic for 3 in the morning

noyaoyaoya: thanks mum love you too

suga: and then ennoshita, kinoshita and narita are the moody teens that never come out of their rooms

daichi: why are you like this

suga: AND DAICHI

suga: daichi's the husband that works all day to pay the bills but still manages to treat his beautiful partner right because he is a good man

suga: asahi is the uncle that u want to come and visit but he cant because he scares the children

asahi: suga why

suga: and finally

suga: kiyoko is the distant relative that turned our only straight child partly gay

tsukishitty: tag yourself i'm "partly gay"

yama: tsukki ur full gay

tsukishitty: shit you're right

 **sun** _has added_ **blueberry milk** _to_ **"professional confession club™"**

suga: problem child has returned

sun: suga if you have to pawn me off for a night give me to bokuto

suga: i wouldnt trust him with you ever

bokuhoot: RUDE

suga: tough tiddies

yachi: did someone sat tiddies

yachi: ehehe tiddies

suga: yachi you're literally the only one here that likes boobs

kiyoko: i do

kuroo: same

oikwaii: me too

daichi: ...

daichi: me too

suga: gasp

suga: my husband likes girls

daichi: dude i've literally told you that i'm bi wth

suga: still need bleach after how you talked about michimiya

daichi: i need bleach after being with her

sun: dad!! that's mean!!!

daichi: oh yeah hinata is everything good w kageyama now

sun: yeah he's not as angsty as he was before he confessed dw

blueberry milk: people liking girls is such a foreign concept to me

tsukishitty: such big words

 **blueberry milk** _has removed_ **tsukishitty** _from_ **"professional confession club™"**

blueberry milk: bitch

 **sun**   _has added_ **tsukishitty** _to_ **"professional confession club™"**

yama: dw kags he's salty bc those words are bigger than his dick

yama: HINATA NO YOU ADDED HIM BAKKT OO SOON

yama: IM SO SORRY TUKII

tsukishitty: you say that but who's always coming first

yama: S+YOU DICK

tsukishitty: that's something you won't get anymore (:

yama: FUCKDE

suga: please you are both minors

furry: control your children

suga: it ishard

yama: TSUKKI PLES UM SORRY

daichi: gdi tsukki just dick him down i dont want to deal with his whining

yama: SUGA DIDNT U SYA DAICHI WAS A GENTLEMAN

suga: yes but apparently not to you

tsukishitty: tsk tadashi just come over

yama: BUT U SAUD NO DICK

tsukishitty: my parents arent home

yama: [me rn](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/running-child-young-boy-isolated-white-background-35223518.jpg)

furry: karasuno is just a fuck fest wtf

furry: i want some of that

furry: kenma come over

kenma: like i'd get up for you ew

furry: fine i'll just call bokuto

bokuhoot: sorry bro gotta stay loyal to 'kaashi

furry: bro did you finally get together with him

bokuhoot: YES BRO

furry: BRO

kenma: if i come over will you stop saying bro

furry: yes

kenma: On my way!

furry: holy shit

\---

furry: that little fucker didn't come over

furry: i wasn't even serioys about the fucking i just wanted to cuddle

kenma: my mum will let you in just come over

furry: score

sun: why is everyone so open about sex in this chat

furry: idk chibi

yama: maybe bc we all want sum fuck

yama: except from tsukki

yama: his tail is small

tsukishitty: i give you my stick and this is how you repay me

sun: what

yama: i told you i didn't want any tail!!

sun: what are you talking about

tsukishitty: wot?

tsukishitty: you want yellow?

suga: he doesnt want yellow...

tsukishitty: blue and yellow?

suga: no.

yama: tsukki i'm leaving

tsukishitty: wot no wait lemme smash

sun: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING

suga: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA>

tsukishitty: kuroo is a hoe

furry: why you gotta drag me like this

tsukishitty: idk man you just...seem like a hoe

furry: sorry 2 burst ur bubble bro i'm a pathetic loser virgin

tsukishitty: WHAT

furry: [lol hi](http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/)

yama: that's so unexpected whoa

kenma: honestly it means less effort in the relationship for me

furry: psh like letting me fuck you would be a chore

furry: you could just play a game while i did it

kenma: like im just some hole to fuck

furry: shit that came out wrong im sorry

kenma: buy me snacks on your way over and we're good

noyaoyaoya: I LOVE tHAT VIDEO HEXK

sun: did you know that your heart rate matches the music youre listening to

noyaoyaoya: ive been listening to wii music for ten hours

sun: why am i dating you

noyaoyaoya: i show you quality memes

sun: when have you ever

noyaoyaoya: i showed you that video of the cat meowing underwater

sun: that was a good cat

yama: @ hinata "why am i dating yuu*"

tsukishitty: shut up yamaguchi

yama: sorry tsukki

blueberry milk: i think i'm in love

yama: yeah we know

blueberry milk: shut up yamaguchi

yama: ...sorry tsukki?

 **sun** _has changed_ **blueberry milk** _'s name to_ **kaGAYama**

sun: whos the lucky guy

kaGAYama: i was talking about my milk

sun: wow okay

noyapoyaoya: it's a step up from being in love with u

sun: wow it's nice to be single again

noyaoyaoya: nO IM SIRYR NSKHN

sun: no ass for a month

noyaoyaoya: i haven't even gotten ass yet

sun: you will in a month

noyaoyaoya: is that your way of telling me youre ready?

sun: the ban can be dropped if youre at my house in fifteen minutes

noyaoyaoya: wow is this what the oustide world looks like

yama: fuck noya run

noyaoyaoya: omw!

 **noyaoyaoya** _went offline_

yama: shit are you actually gonna give him ass

sun: my body is ready

 **sun** _went offline_

suga: daichi our children are so thirsty

daichi: you were sitting on my dick not ten minutes ago

suga: daichi! there are children present!

yama: why are you so horny arent parents old and cant get it up

suga: i'm a perfectly healty adult tyvm

daichi: we havent even graduated yet

suga: i'm a perfectly healthy adult tyvm

kaGAYama: everyone's off doing the do

kaGAYama: ...

daichi: kageyama if you have sex with your fucking milk youre running laps all practice

kaGAYama: ...i wasnt going to gdi


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smaller giant: ill bite your ankles kiddo
> 
> smaller giant: youre fucking dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i LOSG 500 WORDS OF THUS SO ITS SHORTER THAN NOYA BYE  
> TOO LAZY  
> TOO RIRED TO REWRITE SHIT

noyaoyaoya: bless u

sun: thank you

suga: wjhat

noyaoyaoya: he sneezed

daichi: it is literally 1am why are you guys awake

noyaoyaoya: we're videocalling and he sneezed

daichi: WHY ARE YOU VIDEO CALLING AT 1AM

noyaoyaoya: idk man i live for the thrill of getting caught

yama: ik its 1am but ive come to a cinclusion on a theory ive had for a while

suga: whats the theory

yama: tsukki is

suga: yes

yama: gay

tsukishitty: we all know that

yama: wait fuck

yama: what if all the couples matched names

yama: wait a second

 **yama** _changed_ **suga** _'s name to_ **mum**

 **yama** _changed_ **daichi** _'s name to_ **dad**

mum: good idea

mum: but how do we get everyone to match

yama: idk

 **noyaoyaoya** _changed_ **yama** _'s name to_ **gucci**

 **noyaoyaoya** _changed_ **tsukishitty** _'s name to_ **prada**

gucci: THANK U NOYA

prada: how do we match the balls of energy

gucci: IDK TSYKKI HWO DO WE

prada: no fuck this idea yamaguchi go to sleep

gucci: MAKE ME

prada: i'm coming over make sure your window is unlocked

gucci: lol okay tsukki

 **kaGAYama** _has changed their name to_ **milk**

milk: now im matching with the loml

noyaoyaoya: milk isnt even that good

 **milk** _has changed_ **sun** _'s name to_ **smol giant**

 **milk** _has changed_ **noyaoyaoya** _'s name to_ **smaller giant**

smaller giant: DO YOU WANT T OFIGHT

milk: my address is  _[address]_

milk: if i win i get hinata

smaller giant: ill bite your ankles kiddo

smaller giant: youre fucking dead

smol giant: if yuu loses im leaving him anyway

smol giant: who's going to protect me from the world if he cant even protect himself from kags smh

 **smol giant** _has changed_ **kenma** _'s name to_ **nya**

nya: shouyou no

 **smol giant** _has changed_ **furry** _'s name to_ **n'y'all**

nya: i guess it could be worse

 **oikawaii** _has changed their name to_ **oi**

oi: too lazy to come upw something creative

dad: how does that even match

oi: IwaOi

dad: that doesnt make sense

mum: daichi sweetie it's their ship name

dad: oh

gucci: someone please come up with better names for noya and hinata it's hurting me

mum: where did u run off to yamaguchi?

gucci: i had to let kei in

dad: wait so he ACTUALLY travelled to your house at 1am?

mum: are we gonna ignore that he used tsukishima's first name or?

gucci: i call him kei all the time? + ye he did he's asleep now though

mum: youve only called him kei twice in front of us

gucci: oh

gucci: i guess it's just a private thing lol

gucci: he calls me by tadashi all the time too

mum: goals

dad: youve literally been calling me by my first name since first year

mum: youve never called me by my first name

dad: koushi?

dad: i can start calling you by that if you want me to

mum: please :)

dad: alright

dad: anyway, im going to bed now so make sure youre all asleep at a reasonable time!

gucci: a;right dad

mum: im gonna go now too so make sure youre all responsible

mum: 'night, daichi

dad: goodnight koushi

\---

 **smol giant** _has changed their name to_ **shoyaoyaoya**

 **smaller giant** _has changed their name to_ **noyaoyaoya**

noyaoyaoya: the name makes its return

shoyaoyaoya: but we match now so it can stay

noyaoyaoya: yes

noyaoyaoya: it's so quiet in the gc th

shoyaoyaoya: ik

noyaoyaoya: so...

shoyaoyaoya: wanna come over and make out?

noyaoyaoya: omw

 **noyaoyaoya** _and_ **shoyaoyaoya** _went offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may start writing side stories to this (eg the nishihina confessions, how daisuga talked it out after their confession, kags' internal battles, some tsukkiyama) bc i miss actual writing but idk man  
> also should i partner kags w someone? or people idk man i dont really have any ideas but i font want him to just b in unrequited love w hinata through the entire thing ha yikes


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> milk: if he makes yamaguchi cry again he's dead
> 
> mum: that'll make him cry even more
> 
> milk: if he makes yamaguchi cry again i'll put him in a coma that he'll wake up from eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too much angst not enough memes

noyaoyaoya: im so pissed

mum: vent your angers child

noyaoyaoya: why cant shouyou be smaller than me??

noyaoyaoya: bc i wanna give him my shirts bc Boyfriend Shirt™

noyaoyaoya: and it's cute bc he wears my shirt yknow

noyaoyaoya: but bc im so small

noyaoyaoya: they arent big on him??

noyaoyaoya: im missing out on a grEAT experience

mum: wow um

mum: okay

shoyaoyaoya: ill steal all your shirts and then you cant complain

noyaoyaoya: i can complain that i have no shirts

shoyaoyaoya: impossible

shoyaoyaoya: suga how do i please him

mum: wear a long ass sweater

shoyaoyaoya:  _[image sent]_

noyaoyaoya: that's illegal people cant do that

noyaoyaoya: wh AT TH E FU kc

noyaoyaoya: karasuno needs a new libero

dad: what why

noyaoyaoya: bcs i am DEAD

shoyaoyaoya: thanks 4 the advice mum

mum: anything 4 my struggling sun

dad: thats not how its spelled

mum: did i stutter

dad: nvm

\---

gucci: I SAW NOYA'S PHONE

gucci: HIS LOVKSVREEN IS THE PICTURE HINATA SENT

noyaoyaoya: filth

noyaoyaoya: how dare you expose me like this

gucci: CUTE

prada: shut up yamaguchi

gucci: SORRY TSUKKI

gucci: but if youre jealous i have photos of myself that u can make ur lockscreen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

prada: no thanks

prada: ...

prada: private chat

n'y'all: owo what's this?

gucci: this is why everyone thinks youre a furry

n'y'all: sweats nervously as i shove my fursuit back into the closet

nya: he owns a fursuit i can confirm

n'y'all: I DO NOT

gucci: sounds like something someone with a fursuit would say

n'y'all: i dont have a fursuit

gucci: k

shoyaoyaoya: YUU

noyaoyaoya: who's yuu? i'm noya

shoyaoyaoya: The pHO TO

shoyaoyaoya: HW AT IF SOME RANDOM SEES IT

noyaoyaoya: YOURE CUTE I GOTTA SHOW HOW LUCKY I AM

shoyaoyaoya: o h

noyaoyaoya: oh?

shoyaoyaoya: oh

\---

milk: help

mum: another struggling child yes hello how may i help

milk: a girl came up to me and asked if i was single

milk: and bc im too gay for this

milk: i panicked

shoyaoyaoya: please dont tell me you told her we're dating

milk: I WISH

milk: i told her i was dating tsukishima

prada: ew

milk: she looked so confused

milk: she knew inwas lying

milk: she said and i quote "tsukishima's only gay for yamaguchi?"

gucci: that's right

guccu: know your place bitch

prada: where js her concrete evidence

gucci: stfu tsukki you love me

gucci: you gotta

gucci: even platonically

gucci: because i was there with you through your Great Depression™

prada: is that what we're calling it now

gucci: yes

milk: GUYS SHE ASKE DME OUT

milk: AND I PANICKED AGAIN

milk: AND ME, A GAY GUY

milk: IS GOING ON A DATE WITJ A GIRL OF THE FEMALE SPECIES

yachi: why does kageyama get all the girls he's moody

milk: I DONT WANT THE GIRLS YOU CAN HAVE THEM

yachi: please and thank you

gucci: we needa get kags a boyfriend

milk: no we dont

 **gucci** _has named the conversation_ **"operation: get kags a bf"**

shoyaoyaoya: i agree with this operation

milk: like me being in love with you is the worst thing in the world

shoyaoyaoya: I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!

shoyaoyaoya: i just want you to be happy!!

milk: he doesnt even notice

milk: noya is a lucky guy

milk: whatever

 **milk** _went offline_

shoyaoyaoya: did i do something wrong? :(

mum: he's angry that youre a nice kid

mum: because he's realising why he fell in love with you and he doesnt want to be

shoyaoyaoya: oh

mum: it'll take quite some time for him to get over you, if he ever does

mum: please be gentle with him

shoyaoyaoya: yeah, okay

\---

oi: this gc has so many problems

gucci: ehe yeah

dad: are you okay yamaguchi?

gucci: just dandy

noyaoyaoya: yams :(

gucci: i'm?? fine??

shoyaoyaoya: :(

dad: :(

mum: :(

 **gucci** _left_ **"operation: get kags a bf"**

\---

 **gucci** _has added_ **mum, shoyaoyaoya** _and_ **milk** _to the conversation_

mum: yamaguchi, are you okay?

shoyaoyaoya: we're all worried

gucci: do you think tsukishima hates me?

mum: what?

gucci: do you?

mum: no!

mum: i don't think he could ever hate you!

mum: what's put you on this train of thought?

shoyaoyaoya: yeah!

shoyaoyaoya: he seems to hate everyone BUT you!

gucci: idk it just

gucci: in the gc everything;s fine but lately he/s stopped comiing over, starte d leaving school befr me abd he;s been yelling at me a lto recently

gucci: i dont knwi what to do ii just wanbt him to loive me again

gucci: idont knwo hwta i did wrong

mum: do you want one of us to talk to him?

gucci: i wudolnt mind if it dpeisnt bother yo u gsuy

milk: hey, are you crying by any chance?

gucci: ...

gucci: yes

milk:he's fucking dead

\---

 **mum** _has named the conversation_ **"operation: kick tsukki's ass"**

dad: what did tsukki do

prada: ^

mum: your boyfriend is crying to us in a separate chat because he feels like you don't love him anymore

mum: he's scared that you'll leave him because you fell out of love with him

prada: why does he think that?

shoyaoyaoya: you yelling at him recently, not coming over and leaving school before him

prada: oh

 **prada** _left_ **"operation: kick tsukki's ass"**

milk: wait i didn't get to say anything

shoyaoyaoya: s okay kags

shoyaoyaoya: he'll work it out!

milk: it better

milk: if he makes yamaguchi cry again he's dead

mum: that'll make him cry even more

milk: if he makes yamaguchi cry again i'll put him in a coma that he'll wake up from eventually

mum: i guess that's better

dad: i hope everything works out with those two

dad: they've known each other since middle school and they just fit together really well

mum: i know

dad: and seeing yamaguchi distraught isn't a nice sight

dad: i just want him to be happy :(

shoyaoyaoya: he'll be happy! :D

mum: your optimistic attitude never fails to surprise me

shoyaoyaoya: i have no doubt that everything will turn out okay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used my mobile data on my laptop @ school to write and post this ahaha nice


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gucci: DID SOMEONE SAY HINATA AND NOYA GETTING FRISKY
> 
> shoyaoyaoya: YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS YAMAGUCHI
> 
> noyaoyaoya: PUT YOUR GUN DOWN YAMAGUCHI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've finished the tsukkiyama angst side story!(:  
> it'll be the "next work in the series"
> 
> also currently crying in the club bc i took so many breaks writing this and my laptop's "sleep" screen says "i love yamaguchi" how much further up his ass do u think i can go
> 
> also: truth or dare needs to b included in every chat fic sorry i don't make the rules (even though i suck a t or d just gotta put that out there)

**mum** _has added_ **gucci** _and_ **prada** _to_ **"operation: kick tsukki's ass"**

 **gucci** _has named the conversation_ **"operation: get kags a bf"**

shoyaoyaoya: everything worked out!! :D

gucci:  _[image sent]_

mum: AAAAAAHHH

mum: why are all my children gay

gucci: ur gay

mum: u got me there

gucci: yeet do you guys wanna play truth or dare?

mum: sure

shoyaoyaoya: i guess

noyaoyaoya: i'm in

milk: k

dad: sure

oi: me n iwa-chan are in

n'y'all: me n kenma too

prada: fine

yachi: i'm never here but sure

gucci: yeet

prada: say yeet one more time i dare you

gucci: ...

gucci: mum arrest tsukki

mum: what'd he do?

prada: he fucking said yeet out loud of course i had to hit him

gucci: anyway

gucci: hinata truth or dare

shoyaoyaoya: truth

noyaoyaoya: weak

shoyaoyaoya: i dont trust yamaguchi

gucci: fair

gucci: who would you date if you could date anyone except noya

shoyaoyaoya: kenma

shoyaoyaoya: tbh i had a crush on him when we first met whoo boy

nya: that's new information

gucci: nice

shoyaoyaoya: tsukki

gucci: BANNED

prada: ^ yes

shoyaoyaoya: truth or dare

prada: dare bitch

shoyaoyaoya: scream ur undying love for yamaguchi out ur window

gucci: lame

gucci: ...

gucci:  _[video file]_

shoyaoyaoya: HOLT SHIT

shoyaoyaoya: INTENSE

mum: OH MY GOD

dad: commitment

prada: alright fucekers

prada: king

milk: dare

prada: brb

gucci: i'm reading over his shoulder holy shit

gucci: kags is gonna die ha bye

mum: no killing my children >:(

dad: theyre my children too

mum: no killing my children >:(

dad: k thanks love u too

prada: next time you see hinata kiss him on the cheek

milk: no thanks i dont want noya to murder me

noyaoyaoya: we both consented to this gdi kags

milk: i refuse

noyaoyaoya: you cant!

milk: why do you want me to kiss your boyfriend tf

prada: either that or ask that "hot basketball guy" out on a date

milk: ahaha yeah hinata sorry bud gotta kiss ur cheek its the rules

shoyaoyaoya: ooh hot basketball guy

milk: i said no such thing

gucci: HOT BASKETBALL GUY

milk: anYWAy

milk: @ yachi truth or dare

yachi: truth pls im a frail soul

milk: fuckim terrible at this

milk: lame q but um most embarrassing crush

yachi: that crush i had on hinata for like 2 months lmao bye

shoyaoyaoya: whAT

yachi: lmAO BYE

yachi: noya

noyaoyaoya: dare

yachi: do 15 push ups

noyaoyaoya: bitch

noyaoyaoya: whatd i do to you

yachi: hinata

noyaoyaoya: sorry yeah 15 push ups it is

shoyaoyaoya: what

gucci: everyone hates noya bc he was the first one to ask you out

shoyaoyaoya: he didnt though?

shoyaoyaoya: i asked him out #skilz

milk: how did you do that your stomach is weak as fuck before games

shoyaoyaoya: a story for another time bcs i am going to bed

dad: yeah, it's getting late and we have practice tomorrow

dad: everyone to bed

gucci: yes dad

gucci: even tho the game was short ;(

\---

shoyaoyaoya: kags ran away the first time i saw him today

noyaoyaoya: shouyou can run extremely fast confirmed

milk: he tackled me too

noyaoyaoya: can confirm

milk: people think we're dating now

noyaoyaoya: can confirm

dad: what the hell

gucci: holy shit tsukki look what you did

milk: the more hinata denied it the more they believed it

shoyaoyaoya: bc SOMEONE wouldnt say anything !!!

milk: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

mum: wait so nobody knows you and noya are dating?

shoyaoyaoya: no oops

mum: and they think you and kags are dating

mum: so what if

mum: you and noya ~get frisky~ in public

shoyaoyaoya: SUGA SAN NO

mum: theyll think youre cheating?

milk: basically

gucci: DID SOMEONE SAY HINATA AND NOYA GETTING FRISKY

shoyaoyaoya: YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS YAMAGUCHI

noyaoyaoya: PUT YOUR GUN DOWN YAMAGUCHI

gucci: I SAW NOYA AND HINATA MAKING OUT

gucci: TONGUE WAS MORE THAN LIKELY INVOLVED

gucci: NOYA'S HAND WAS DEFINITELY IN HINATA'S SHORTS

gucci: I WAS SCARED

 **shoyaoyaoya** _and_ **noyaoyaoya** _left_ **"operation: get kags a bf"**

dad: where did this happen?

gucci: club room yesterday afternoon

dad: ...

mum: daichi dont even think about it

mum: the wonders of youth ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚

prada: what the fuck

prada: daichi control your boyfriend

dad: i dont know whats happening either

\---

shoyaoyaoya: i have a question

mum: yes

shoyaoyaoya: why the heck does everyone have a crush on me?? or had??

yachi: screams of frustration can be heard in the distance

shoyaoyaoya: ?):

milk: it's hard not to

milk: idk why i do

milk: i just do

shoyaoyaoya: oh

yachi: you were the first person from the vball club to make me feel safe

shoyaoyaoya: oh? im glad i did though!!

yachi: aha thanks :^)

yachi: i appreciate it a lot

shoyaoyaoya: :)!!

noyaoyaoya: i didn't think i'd fall in love with you at first, but i did. i had a suspicion of a crush, just because you were always there with me and someone i felt at home with, but i didn't think it'd grow into love. but i do love you, because youre determined and polite. when you confessed, you didn't run straight away; you were brave. you waited there hopefully for my answer, and you understood full and well when i said i couldn't immediately give you an answer. the sparkle never left your eyes and i knew that you hadn't given up on me. you continued to hang out with me as a friend, you continued to make me feel safe, and that's why i fell in love with you.

noyaoyaoya: shit

mum: this is why noya gets the boy

milk: hinata read it but he hasn't replied

noyaoyaoya: did i do something wrong?

shoyaoyaoya: no

shoyaoyaoya: i juts love uou a lot

shoyaoyaoya: im so hlad i waited for you

shoyaoyaoya: can you call me?

noyaoyaoya: yeah sure :)

gucci: bliss

gucci: that was so cute i love them

mum: yeah

mum: i'm happy theyve found happiness wth each other

mum: i'm such a proud mother :,)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like im lowkey bullying kags),:


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prada: are you implying that kageyama is a scoundrel
> 
> gucci: look, man. take it however you want. i don't care. i just want this disgusting milk gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the number thing at the start happened (kinda) with me and my internet friends except i said "12" because yamaguchi <3

gucci: i stg i'm gonna get "11" tattooed on my forehead

milk: but that's not your number?

gucci: no, but it is tsukki's and i'm so far up his ass it may as well be mine too

shoyaoyaoya: i wanna play some vball

shoyaoyaoya: vball

shoyaoyaoya: kagayama toss to me

milk: we are literally in class

shoyaoyaoya: kageyama t o s s t o m e

milk: gdi ill toss to you after class calm down

shoyaoyaoya: thanks

prada: yamaguchi i forbid you from getting 11 tattoed to //any// part of your body

gucci: lol tsukki are u my mum

prada: true

dad: pay attention to class god damnit my phone keeps buzzing

gucci: turn it off?

dad: no, you pay attention to class

dad: that's final

gucci: shit got to go

\---

gucci: does anyone know where kageyama is? i accidentally bought milk and i'm not a scoundrel so i need to give it to him

prada: are you implying that kageyama is a scoundrel

gucci: look, man. take it however you want. i don't care. i just want this disgusting milk gone.

shoyaoyaoya: he's in the nurse's office

shoyaoyaoya: i'm with him rn

prada: why the heck is he in the nurse's office

shoyaoyaoya: i may have hit him in the face with a volleyball

gucci: idc that he's hurt im throwing this milk at him

shoyaoyaoya: please dont

shoyaoyaoya: i'll grab it okay don't hurt him

gucci: i was kidding, hinata

gucci: it's good to see that you care about him, though

shoyaoyaoya: okay!

gucci: the milk is now gone

gucci: i need to clense my hands god damnit

prada: what the hell

gucci: i just really hate milk

gucci: gdi tsukki you should know this

prada: i didn't know you hated milk that much

gucci: the devil's drink

milk: it's not that bad wth

gucci: fair

gucci: good to see you're alive, kags

milk: hinata hit the ball

milk: i'm not going to die from that

shoyaoyaoya: rude!

milk: you're not very strong

shoyaoyaoya: :(

shoyaoyaoya: i should've let yamaguchi throw the milk at you

gucci: you lost your chance sorry bud

shoyaoyaoya: guess i'll just have to do it myself

milk: i'd pay you to throw milk at my face

shoyaoyaoya: holy shit

milk: id even pay yamaguchi to do it

milk: i just really love milk

gucci: heathen

mum: kageyama likes milk leave him alone

gucci: not mum too

mum: ew no plain milk is disgusting

mum: just leave the kid alone

prada: does suga even have a name anymore

prada: or should we just call him mum at practice

mum: oh god please no

mum: coach and sensei would think i have some weird ass kink

dad: so you don't have any weird ass kinks?

**mum** _went offline_

gucci: SHIT N O I DIDN:T NEED TO KNW THAT

dad: oh well

gucci: daichi pls

dad: i've got to go comfort him anyway so

dad: and pay attention class is starting

gucci: daichi is a good man

gucci: daichi is a good boyfriend

gucci: be like daichi

gucci: cough @tsukki cough

prada: i will fuck you up

gucci: yes fuck me please

 

gucci: TSUKKI MADE SOME KIND OF CHOKING/LAUGHING NOISE SO THE TEACHER TOOK HIS PHONE OFF OF HIM

gucci: mission accomplished

\---

prada: i hate yamaguchi

gucci: no you don't we've been over this

prada: that is true

gucci: yeet

prada: statement revoked

gucci: :(

prada: ...

prada: i do love you, i hope you know that

gucci: i do :D

gucci: i love you too tsukki

noyaoyaoya: what a tsundere

prada: do you want to die

noyaoyaoya: yes please

shoyaoyaoya: yuu no

noyaoyaoya: but shouyou

shoyaoyaoya: no

noyaoyaoya: :(

milk: why are they arguing about dying

dad: nobody's dying okay

noyaoyaoya: 

dad: why are you like this

noyaoyaoya: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

dad: i hate this team

mum: you shouldn't hate your children, daichi

dad: i relinquish custody

mum: no

dad: i love my children

mum: that's what i thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate milk  
> \+ BLACKPINK'S COMEBACK IM SO GAY


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gucci: excuse you i take quality selfies
> 
> prada: not enough to feed my thirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me whilst scrolling through oikage fanart: oikage is so gross what the hell
> 
> this ship is starting out like a few of my others tbh (kurotsukki, nishihina, bokuroo, kenhina, to name a few) but dw it wont be in this fic :D
> 
> \+ if you didn't already know, i've written a tsukkiyama & a nishihina side story to this fic!  
> ++ i can't believe how much attention this book has gotten omg i thought everyone would avoid it like the plague bc of the nishihina but apparently not,, tysm guys! (,:

mum: i love daichi

mum: i love him so much

mum: like

mum: you would not believe how much i love him??

dad: koushi as much as i love you it's 2am please go back to sleep

mum: fine

mum: only because i love you

gucci: wow you sound so sick of it

dad: this is the third time he's woken me up at 2am to tell me how much he loves me

dad: yes, i love him too, "more than you could believe", but just let a man rest

gucci: rip daichi

dad: yes now go to sleep i know we dont have practice today but you need a healthy amount of sleep

gucci: i was about to anyway

gucci: goodnight daichi

dad: goodnight, yamaguchi

\---

shoyaoyaoya: holy hell has suga /really/ woken you up three times just to say he loves you???

dad: one time he physically shook me until i woke up, at 4am, just to tell me, and i quote, "i love you so much, now get some sleep"

mum: it was worth the punch

prada: was it really?

mum: no

prada: what i thought

mum: why are you here but yamaguchi hasnt said anything

prada: he's still sleeping

prada:  _[image attached]_

mum: pure

mum: i want to adopt him all over again

prada: as soon as i took that he woke up and screamed "tsukki" at me

mum: pure

gucci: i hate tsukki

prada: me too

milk: me too

milk: how did he beat me to that i dont understand

prada: my self deprecation radar was going off

milk: what

prada: i saw yamaguchi's phone

milk: that makes more sense

gucci: tsuuukki

prada: what

gucci: i'm so ti red why did youu wake me up

prada: i didn't, you just have a built-in sense for when someone takes a photo of you

gucci: lol ur right

milk: how does that work

prada: he stops what he's doing as soon as he senses someone taking a photo for him and screams

prada: it's terrifying, honetly

gucci: it'd be alritght if you just sTOPPED TAKING PHOTOS OF ME

prada: how else am i supposed to get Quality™ tadashi photos

gucci: excuse you i take quality selfies

prada: not enough to feed my thirst

gucci: ...well alright then

noyaoyaoya: i relate to tsukishima

shoyaoyaoya: what do i not send you enough selfies

gucci: clearly not

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shoyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shoyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mum: no nudes in my christian household

noyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡° )

shoyaoyaoya: ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡° )

gucci: wasn't hinata like,,, the poster christian child until the other week

mum: yes!

mum: noya, you corrupted my only good son!

gucci: excuse you

prada: excuse you

milk: excuse you

noyaoyaoya: excuse you

mum: my only good son

mum: he was so good

mum: so pure,,,

noyaoyaoya: i didn't do anything gdi he instigated it all

shoyaoyaoya: that is technically true

mum: gasp

mum: my pure son

gucci: can i be your new pure son

mum: sure, yamaguchi

shoyaoyaoya: am i that easily replaced??

shoyaoyaoya: i am APPAULED

gucci: sorry hinata

mum: sorry hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shingeki no kyojin + boku no hero academia = no Professional Confession Club™ update
> 
> short bc no inspo pls comment ideas for future chapters !!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shoyaoyaoya: and then badda bing badda boom "i love you noya-senpai"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: it may seem like it, and y'all may tell me i'm wrong, but IWAOI ARE NOT TOGETHER IN THIS !!  
> iwa is barely active in the chat so he didn't notice that oiks had matched couple names but tbh he doesn't care let the kid dream  
> i repeat IWAOI ARE NOT DATING  
> thank you for your time
> 
> chapters are gonna start ggetting smaller bc i cba to reach 1k words every time snymore

gucci: hinata you never told us how you managed to ask noya out

shoyaoyaoya: oh yeah lol

shoyaoyaoya: [tis a great tale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276922)

noyaoyaoya: not really

shoyaoyaoya: it ends with us getting together ofc it's a great tale

gucci: i want to hear this Great Tale™

shoyaoyaoya: first let me just say that

shoyaoyaoya: idk how, when or  _why_ i started having Feelings for yuu

noyaoyaoya: i'm?? offended??

shoyaoyaoya: but i'd had these Feelings™ for a while before i confessed so

shoyaoyaoya: it's actually not that long of a story?

shoyaoyaoya: or that thrilling??

gucci: please start the story

shoyaoyaoya: sheesh

shoyaoyaoya: so one day i was like okay i've had of bottling tthese feelings n im gonna confess to yuu today

shoyaoyaoya: so i asked him to walk with me alone after practice

noyaoyaoya: wait that's why you were so nervous

shoyaoyaoya: im dating a dumbass

prada: you ARE a dumbass

shoyaoyaoya: who are you, kageyama?

prada: please don't compare me with him

milk: rude

gucci: on with the story

shoyaoyaoya: so this D U M B AS S asks me if i'm in love with kags

noyaoyaoya: can confirm

noyaoyaoya: i genuinely thought he was

gucci: don't worry all of us did

shoyaoyaoya: i panicked bc,, what if he thought i confessed to take the suspicion off my hypothetical Setter Crush™

noyaoyaoya: you told me it doesnt matter bc you have a crush on someone else

shoyaoyaoya: can confirm

shoyaoyaoya: and he askedd who and panicked when i didnt respond bc dO I TELL HIM NOW OR????

shoyaoyaoya: and then badda bing badda boom "i love you noya-senpai"

shoyaoyaoya: but he looked pained as he told me he couldnt give me an answer ://

noyaoyaoya: i wanted to reject you, but i couldnt

shoyaoyaoya: bi t c h

noyaoyaoya: he told me that he'd wait for my answer and biked off

gucci: how thrilling

prada: suspenseful

milk: 5 stars

gucci: shoujo manga worthy

noyaoyaoya: you guys didn't know about it because somehow he acted normal with me??

noyaoyaoya: idk how man, because i was still kinda in love w/ our yakuza ace and if i confessed and he said that to me id break another vase

gucci: me when i confessed to tsukki

gucci: except it would have been a volleyball

gucci: to his face

prada: oh

shoyaoyaoya: and i wanted some quality time w/ my bro noya-senpai

shoyaoyaoya: so i asked him if he wanted to

shoyaoyaoya: walk home alone with me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

noyaoyaoya: you literally just ranted about the stars

shoyaoyaoya: yes and you interrupted my rant by telling me you love me

noyaoyaoya: you looked so beautiful, how could i not??

shoyaoyaoya: ///

noyaoyaoya: an D Y' A  L L

noyaoyaoya: shouyou got g a me

noyaoyaoya: he just like,,,

noyaoyaoya: grabbed my face???

noyaoyaoya: and kissed me???

shoyaoyaoya: let a man have his moments id been waiting to do that since we met gdi

gucci: //swoon//

noyaoyaoya: that long?

noyaoyaoya: i'd been having an internal battle for about two and a half months

shoyaoyaoya: yuu: i'll never love anyone ever again

shoyaoyaoya: also yuu: falls in love w/ me <3

noyaoyaoya: dont do this to me shouyou

shoyaoyaoya: <3 <3

gucci: once again

gucci: shoujo manga worthy

gucci: i'm going to write a manga and that's going to be the plot line

shoyaoyaoya: make sure to fit in yuu's never-ending internal battle <3

noyaoyaoya: shouyou please

shoyaoyaoya: okay i wasn't going to say it but im kiNda pissed about that??

shoyaoyaoya: you loved asahi-san so you decided you wouldn't love me??

shoyaoyaoya: whatever

shoyaoyaoya: it's in the past

noyaoyaoya: do you want to talk about it?

shoyaoyaoya: no

shoyaoyaoya: it's in the past, forget about it

shoyaoyaoya: you don't love him anymore and i know you love me so it's all okay

noyaoyaoya: okay, but tell me if you ever want to talk about something like that

shoyaoyaoya: okay :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'alls know how hard it is for me to do :) instead of (: liKE ????  
> anD TO DO THE QUESTION MARK RIGHT AFTER THE WORD INSTEAD OF PUTTING A SPACE BETWEEN THEM
> 
> THIS BOOK IS KILLING MY TEXTING HABITS
> 
> also if you see a typo i cba to fix them anymore so like u h enjoy


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mum has named the conversation "appreciate and love each other uwu"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops my finger slipped [iwaoikage becomes canon] hahaha oops sorry about that guys
> 
> tempt in g
> 
> my brain is too Hyped on TODODEKU to put any thought into hq ships okay
> 
> \+ problem child kags returns

milk: i need a boyfriend

milk: or two

milk: but that's kind of greedy

 **gucci** _has named the conversation_ **"get kags a bf or two"**

gucci: anyone want to volunteer

noyaoyaoya: no

prada: no

mum: no

n'y'all: no

nya: no

dad: no

shoyaoyaoya: (no)

gucci: ...no

oi: no

milk: okay wow

milk: y'all a bunch of sons of bitches

mum: wow thanks

milk: i mean i get suga and daichi's reasoning but wow you guys

gucci: i'm sorry kags i didn't mean to upset you...

milk: no i don't care

milk: i've had enough of this

milk: i'm sick of you all teasing me for being in love with hinata like i had a choice to feel that way for him

milk: newsflash: i DONT

milk: i hate you all

 **milk** _has left_ **"get kags a bf or two"**

gucci: we really fucked up this time

mum: everybody just give him some space

gucci: yeah, okay

\---

dad: did kageyama seriously skip practice?

mum: yeah ://

mum: i guess we really DID upset him

mum: i'm gonna try and talk to him

dad: okay, just try not to aggravate him or poke at anything he's not comfortable with

mum: yeah, i know

\---

 _private message between_ **mum** _and_ **milk**

mum: hey kags

mum: what we did what wrong and we were just trying to have a good time, we didn't mean to hurt you

mum: but that doesn't change that what we did was cruel

mum: it's not bad to be in love with hinata, and we know nothing can change that

mum: we can't take back the taunts but we won't make any more, i promise

mum: it's all alright, okay?

mum: i hope you feel better

mum: just let me know how you feel :)

\---

**"get kags a bf or two"**

mum: he didn't reply at all but i'll just give him some space

dad: yeah, thank you for that, koushi

mum: contrary to popular belief, i don't like seeing anyone suffer

mum: so when he does come back, be careful around the subject of hinata and him getting a relationship

 **mum** _has named the conversation_   **"appreciate and love each other uwu"**

mum: there we go

dad: i love you

mum: i know :^)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oi: i totally didn't log into iwa-chan's account and make him leave this chat just so i could rant to you guys about him
> 
> oi: nope not at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally figured out who to pair kags w
> 
> \+ a lot of time skips sorry i wanna get this angst portion over with  
> \+ it's actually a LOT of time passing bc kags is angst master
> 
> also, contrary to popular belief, i DO love kageyama
> 
> \+ peep the paragraph writing bc it's too important to just write a side story & it short

_private message between_ **mum** _and_ **milk**

milk: thank you, suga

milk: i'm not ready to come back to the group chat yet, but i will be eventually

mum: okay!

mum: are you going to be at practice tomorrow?

milk: ...no, i

mum: ?

milk: ...i practised at seijoh today, and i'd feel more comfortable if i continued to do so until i can face you guys again

mum: oh, okay

mum: just let me know when you want to come back to the gc :)

milk: i will!

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

mum:  _[screenshot]_

gucci: so he'd rather practice with OIKAWA than with US?

gucci: i mean, we did hurt him, but

gucci: oikawa? really?

oi: you do know that i'm here right?

oi: and that was mean!

gucci: sorry i guess

oi: :(

iwa: to be fair i don't know why i hang out with oikawa either

oi: :(

gucci: haven't you been stuck with him since like birth or something

iwa: yes and it's been horrible

oi: it hasn't been THAT bad!!

iwa: ...

iwa: i guess you're right

oi: !!!

oi: iwa-chan DOES love me!!!

iwa: don't let it get to your head, idiot

oi: back to the mean iwa-chan :(

oi: but yeah, i was surprised too when tobio-chan asked to practise with us lol

oi: i thought he hated my guts

shoyaoyaoya: so did i

gucci: we all did

shoyaoyaoya: but he seems to be having a good time there

gucci: i do hope he comes back soon, though

shoyaoyaoya: yeah

\---

gucci: kags talked to me today

gucci: he even smiled a lil

gucci: but it was a kind of sad smile?

mum: what'd you two talk about?

gucci: i bought 2 milks for him and gave them to him as a weak apology

gucci: he kinda just laughed/smiled a bit

gucci: all he said was "i thought you hated even touching milk, but thanks"

mum: it's a step up!

gucci: yeah

\---

prada: kageyama came for tutoring at lunch

gucci: yeah! for the first time in two weeks!

shoyaoyaoya: but he wouldn't talk to me ://

mum: it's okay, one step at a time!

shoyaoyaoya: i really do hope that he feels better soon

mum: yeah

\---

shoyaoyaoya: he asked to talk to me at break!!

mum: !!

mum: i'm so happy!

mum: he might want to return to the group chat soon!

\---

_"Kageyama?" Hinata was worried as he approached the boy. They hadn't spoken to each other in over a month, so that was a given. He watched as Kageyama flinched, dropping the volleyball mid-toss._

_"H-hey," Hinata didn't miss the blush that rose on the setter's cheeks. Hinata felt himself blushing, though he didn't know why._

_"Uh, why'd you call me out to talk?"_ What's on your mind, are you okay? _The unspoken questions._

_"I, uh."_

_It was silent._

_A minute passed, before another did._

_In total, Hinata waited five minutes, before Kageyama suddenly bowed and yelled "I'm sorry!"_

_Of course, Hinata was confused, rushing over to Kageyama's side to comfort him._

_"What are you apologising for? You did nothing wrong!"_

_"Uh, maybe "sorry" wasn't the right word..." Kageyama blushed redder, avoiding Hinata's gaze._

_"What's_ really _on your mind, Kags?"_

_The silence this time was shorter, but Kageyama spoke softer._

_"Y-you don't have to worry about me being in love with you anymore..." He trailed off, but continued to speak even before Hinata prompted him to. "I-I'm not in love with you anymore. I think. I, uh, fell in love with someone else."_

_Hinata smiled brightly, hugging his friend tightly._

_"It was never a_ burden _for you to be in love with me, by the way."_

\---

shoyaoyaoya: kags isnt in love w me anymore + he's coming to practice this afternoon!

mum: !!

mum: is he gonna be added to the gc again?

shoyaoyaoya: no, he wants to ease into face to face contact before online contact

mum: okay!!

dad: im so happy

mum: :)

\---

 **iwa** _has left_ **"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

mum: what??

oi: i totally didn't log into iwa-chan's account and make him leave this chat just so i could rant to you guys about him

oi: nope not at all

mum: aw oiks what's wrong

oi: okay so

oi: despite the matching couple name thing, iwa-chan and i aren't dating

mum: really??

oi: we're not, unfortunately

nya: and i'm guessing you want to?

mum: ^

oi: YES

oi: and i dont know how to go about it because we're childhood friends and o hmy god

oi: he doesnt feel the same way so confessing would just ruin our friendship and i kust want to remain by his side???

mum: oiks, sweetie, iwaizumi does love you, in some form or the other

mum: it's going to be FINE

oi: i? guess?

mum: you should do what your heart tells you to do!

oi: okay!

oi: i, uh, think i'll confess to him

oi: ...soon

oi: so, uh, don't add him back until i do, okay?

mum: you got it!

nya: we're rooting for you

oi: thank you guys :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kags has a seijoh love interest owo  
> is it kindaichi? kunimi? both? or one of the third years?
> 
> find out next time on kags is suffering™️


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gucci: oikawa may have done fucked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't write this fic properly i have sinned lord please forgive me what am i going to tell my parents oh lord god jesus fuck i have sinned i sinNED
> 
> im actually multi-tasking and digging my grave as i write this  
> i won't even live to see my fifteenth birthday  
> ive committed such a grave sin
> 
> doesn't mean im gonna stop shipping oikage though ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**oi** _has added_ **iwa** _and_ **milk** _to_ **"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

milk: so that's what this is called now?

mum: KAGEYAMA

shoyaoyaoya: KAGS

gucci: KAGEYAMA

dad: KAGEYAMA

milk: ha hi

nya: ooh oikawa did you tell him?

milk: ?

oi: yes!!

mum: and i'm taking that it went well?

oi: yes!!!

milk: ?????

oi: ah, tobio-chan! you weren't in the chat when we discussed it the other day!!

milk: i'm confused

oi: i confessed to iwa-chan, and now we're dating!!

milk: ah, i'm happy for you!

oi: thank you!!

milk: i have something to do, i'll talk to you guys later

oi: bye!!

mum: have fun, kags!

 **milk** _went offline_

gucci: that's suspicious...

gucci: hey hinata, did kageyama mention having a crush on anybody else when he talked to you the other day?

shoyaoyaoya: huh?

shoyaoyaoya: yeah, why?

gucci: damn

gucci: oikawa may have done fucked up

oi: ???

oi: ...

oi: o h

oi: oh

oi: oh my god

gucci: yeah

gucci: it may just be nothing though, so don't say anything to him

oi: yeah, wasn't planning on it

oi: im not that cruel

\---

 _private message between_ **gucci** _and_ **oi**

gucci: you or iwa

gucci: place your bets

oi: what?

gucci: which one of you two does kageyama have a crush on?

oi: oh

oi: definitely iwa-chan

gucci: oh?

gucci: why do you say that?

oi: as much as i hate to admit it, i was a dick to tobio in junior high, and iwa-chan was always nice to him so

oi: i think he might still resent me a little, but that's okay

gucci: hmm, makes sense

gucci: 500 yen says he has a crush on you

oi: psh, youre on

gucci: great, i'll message you my bank account details when i win

oi: ditto

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

milk: i don't have a crush on iwaizumi wtf

mum: yamaguchi no

gucci: damn, caught in the act

shoyaoyaoya: but do you have a crush on the grand king?

mum: GOD DAMNIT HINATA THIS IS WHY YAMAGUCHI IS THE PURE CHILD NOW

mum: HE ACTUALLY LISTENS WHEN I SAY TO STOP

shoyaoyaoya: oh well

milk: PSSH

milk: LIKE ID EVER HAVE A CRUSH ON OIKAWA SAN

milk: HAHAHAHAHA

 **milk** _went offline_

gucci: ...

oi: pm me your bank details

oi: you dont need to gloat

iwa: what

gucci: we were betting on who kageyama had a crush on between you two

gucci: and oikawa-san voted you, so

gucci: so i win ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

oi: geez dont rub it in

iwa: that's? kind of shitty?

iwa: but also not

iwa: oikawa how much did you lose

oi: 500 yen

iwa: and you couldve won that money if only youd been narcissistic one more time

oi: wow  _okay_

iwa: but, im kinda flattered

iwa: that you'd think he'd like me over you

oi: over me?

oi: what does that mean?

 **iwa** _went offline_

oi: wow

n'y'all: owo what's this

nya: stop it you fucking furry

n'y'all: :(

nya: disgusting

n'y'all: ...

nya: ...

n'y'all: ...

nya: yes, come over i'll give you apology cuddles

n'y'all: :D!

mum: cute

mum: but kageyama's a mess all over again

mum: someone help him

**milk** _came online_

mum: jesus christ what perfect timing

milk: uh, i just dont want a repeat of what happened with hinata

milk: so uh

milk: i thought i'd just say it before i get too deep?

milk: oikawa-san?

oi: yes?

milk: i, uh, like you

milk: a lot

milk: and i know you're dating iwaizumi-san so it's okay

oi: i'm sorry, kageyama

oi: this must be so hard for you

milk: it's okay

mum: wow okay oikawa's being decent

oi: you wound me, refreshing-kun

mum: nvm

oi: :(

oi: but seriously, if you want to talk about it face to face, just drop by aoba johsai

milk: okay

milk: thank you

oi: it's the least i can do

\---

 **iwa** _has added_ **oi**   _and_   **milk** _to the conversation_

iwa: we're going to sort some shit out, okay?

\---

**milk** _has changed their name to_ **kage**

gucci: !!:D

mum: !!!!!!!

dad: ???

shoyaoyaoya: ^?

gucci: IwaOiKage

shoyaoyaoya: !!!

dad: !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitch i'm done bye
> 
> also i was gonna say three updates in a day but it's 12:30am ha bye
> 
> it wont let me publish this as the 5th pf july even though it IS the fifth here god damnit


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gucci: i still have trauma
> 
> gucci: like
> 
> gucci: second hand trauma?
> 
> gucci: i dont know but if i see another monkey im diving bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> other pairings i was considering for kageyama:  
> \- kageyama/noya/hinata (i don't think this would have worked :/)  
> \- tsukishima/kageyama/yamaguchi (yams is tsukki's only and vice versa sorry my dudes)  
> \- kageyama/kindaichi/kunimi (there'd be too much angst and there's already enough angst)  
> \- oikawa/kageyama (but i'm iwaoi trash so)  
> \- kageyama/hinata (but there's no way in hell i'm breaking up my fave hinata pairing for that so u h)
> 
> i decided on iwaoikage because iwaoi + oikage mm yes + there won't be much angst and i can add oiks + iwa more n i can make oiks annoy the shit out of his two boyfriends (;
> 
> also, since i made this fic so i could include all my ships into a chat fic, there MIGHT be future matsuhana & tensemi, but don't count on it, im lazy

noyaoyaoya: ay kageyama has TWO boyfriends

noyaoyaoya: i'd say lucky but shouyou is enough for me

shoyaoyaoya: :D

mum: cute

oi: are you trying to take our spotlight

mum: no theyre just always this cute

gucci: theyre the two shortest people here of course theyre cute

mum: The Short Couple™️

noyaoyaoya: excuse

mum: sorry noya but you cant fight the facts

noyaoyaoya: yeah but i can fight you

shoyaoyaoya: yuu no

noyaoyaoya: yuu yes

shoyaoyaoya:  _no_

noyaoyaoya: no.

shoyaoyaoya: that's what i thought

gucci: wow whipped

noyaoyaoya: you trademarked "sorry tsukki"

gucci: your point being

noyaoyaoya: wow okay

shoyaoyaoya: okay but if anyone here's whipped it'd be daichi for suga

dad: state your proof

shoyaoyaoya: um??

shoyaoyaoya: remember that time you tried to resign custody over us?

shoyaoyaoya: or the fact that youve actually accepted being suga's husband and our dad

shoyaoyaoya: or

shoyaoyaoya:  _[screenshot]_

dad: okay ahahahah we get it

dad: can we talk about something else now

mum: like that time kageyama implied that he was going to have sex with a milk carton

kage: that didn't happen don't listen to them

oi: lol was tobio-chan so lonely that he's resorted to, not only inanimate objects, but beverages?

kage: no offence oikawa-san but i hate you so much

iwa: me too

oi: rude!

oi: i expected this from iwa-chan, but not tobio!!

mum: what's the point of two boyfriends if they both hate you

oi: hajime and tobio have definitely bonded over how much they hate me in their private chat im willing to bet money

gucci: ...

gucci: i can't bet against it, sorry

mum: i'll bet you, like, 100 yen

mum: it's not that much to lose so

kage: sorry suga-san but you just lost 100 yen to oikawa-san

oi: I KNEW IT!

kage: it was before we all started dating though

oi: i

 **oi** _went offline_

mum: you broke him

kage: i'll apologise

mum: what a good son

mum: i've raised you right

kage: ...

kage: whatever floats your boat

\---

gucci: i hate monkeys

gucci: those little fuckers

gucci: okay no i take that back i'm shit scared of monkeys

dad: where did this fear come from?

gucci: well i've always sensed that there was something up with those little fuckers but i went to a monkey forest once and i almost got attacked by one i was horrified and scared for my life

gucci: i hid behind tsukki tho lol what a telephone pole and some random employee stopped the lil shit

gucci: and then they wondered why i wouldnt feed one a banana? smh

gucci: but anyway we got deeper into the forest and while tsukki was feeding some monkeys and i was standing back lowkey terrified, some girl was sitting and a monkey crawled over her lap?

gucci: but it turns out that she had just gotten a tattoo the day before, so it would have stung like a biTCH

dad: i see where this fear comes from, go on

gucci: she screamed and instinctively pushed it away, so it bit her

gucci: hard

gucci: i can still hear her scream and the blood oh my god

gucci: blood is not the type of thing i can be around

prada: he started crying so we had to leave

gucci: IM NOT ASHAMED!

prada: it's okay, we were planning to leave anyway because he looked terrified

prada: he was holding onto me so tight i felt so bad about making him continue even though his "almost-attack" was right by the entrance

prada: he also screamed when one almost touched his hand

dad: oh god

gucci: i still have trauma

gucci: like

gucci: second hand trauma?

gucci: i dont know but if i see another monkey im diving bye

prada: this is true

shoyaoyaoya: oh god is that why he screamed when i gave him his birthday present oh my god i feel so bad

gucci: no offence but i burnt it when i got home

shoyaoyaoya: no i understand

gucci: i jjust really hate monkeys

\---

 _private message between_ **kage** _and_ **mum**

kage: im ready to put tsukishima into that coma

mum: ?

kage: hescrying.jpg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything in yam's story happened to me irl  
> my family went on a holiday to bali and i danced over the topic of monkey forest bc ive always been scared of monkeys for some reason,, but i went in bc they all wanted to and theres no way in hell im standing alone outside in a foreign country
> 
> "tsukki" was my mum, the "employee" was my dad and the random girl was my sister (her tattoo's really pretty) and some stupid employee held a banana across her lap so the monkey was just trying to get the banana
> 
> but yeah im actually fucking terrified of monkeys and if i see ANYTHING related to a monkey i will scream okay i actually cant get the sound of my sister's screams out of my head and the sight of the blood im frEAKIFGN
> 
> also more angst bc ##yolo


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shoyaoyaoya: come over pls i need to take my mind off of this
> 
> noyaoyaoya: sure thing sweet cheeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao

_conversation between_ **gucci** _,_ **mum** _,_ **shoyaoyaoya** _and_ **kage**

gucci: you guys dont have to worry about me!

gucci: it's fine, it's something that tsukki and i are working out by ourselves

mum: are you sure?

kage: i'd be happy to put him in that coma for you

gucci: kageyama no!

gucci: look, it's just personal issues and we're dealing with it

gucci: i appreciate the offer but we don't need your help right now

mum: okay, but don't feel afraid to tell us if you ever need anything

gucci: okay

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

**prada** _has changed their name to_ **tsukishima**

 **gucci** _has changed their named to_ **yams**

dad: ??

mum: oh no

 **tsukishima** _left_ **"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

\---

 _conversation between_   **yams** _,_   **mum**   _,_   **shoyaoyaoya**   _and_   **kage**

yams: okay so i'm just going to say it

yams: im trusting you three before i tell everyone else, okay?

shoyaoyaoya: is it the reason why you and tsukishima no longer match and he left the group chat?

mum: we're all ears, okay

mum: we'll listen

yams: thank you

yams: and yes, hinata

yams: so, tsukishima and i have decided to take a break from our relationship

mum: oh?

mum: do you mind telling us why?

yams: uh sure

yams: so tsukishima and i have been dating for almost three years, as you've been told

yams: and i still love him a lot ofc, and he still loves me, but...

yams: my anxieties and insecurities are starting to get in the way of everything

yams: just two months ago i was the happiest i could be, but recently i've started feeling horrible and wondering in the back of my brain "how has tsukki put up with me for so long?"

yams: so we talked it out and decided that the best option would be to take a break and let me sort things out

yams: ...and tsukki doesnt want to be in the group chat until he's let this all sink in

mum: oh, okay

mum: once again, just remember that you can talk to us about anything

yams: i know

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

yams: tsukki and i are taking a break in our relationship

yams: it's a mutual decision and we promise that we wont let it affect practice

**yams** _went offline_

dad: is he okay?

mum: yeah, he told us why in our other gc

dad: does he know that we're here for him? we'll give him any support he needs

mum: yeah

kage: i hope he feels better soon

shoyaoyaoya: i feel so bad for him

mum: it's all going to be okay, i promise

shoyaoyaoya: yeah

shoyaoyaoya: yeah!

shoyaoyaoya: i know yamaguchi and i have complete confidence that he can break through this

noyaoyaoya: you're so trusting and optimistic, shouyou

noyaoyaoya: this is why i love you

shoyaoyaoya: :^)

shoyaoyaoya: i love you too

shoyaoyaoya: come over pls i need to take my mind off of this

noyaoyaoya: sure thing sweet cheeks

shoyaoyaoya: i hate you im not letting you into my house just because you called me that

noyaoyaoya: ;(

shoyaoyaoya: ssh come on

noyaoyaoya: :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nya: and despite you being a fucking furry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couple-centric (minus tsukkiyama even tho it's my hq otp ://) because i turned 15 today and i'm feeling soft (,,:

kage: oikawa-san

oi: yes?

kage: ...you should have gone to shiratorizawa

oi: i'm breaking up with you

mum: damn that's a little harsh

oi: it's not

oi: i thought i was done with that part of my life but apparently not

kage: but i'm only informing you of this fact because i love you

oi: ...

oi: ...

oi: i take badk what i said

kage: :D

mum: holy hell did kageyama actually type that

oi: ???

iwa: he uses all types of emojis in our seperate chat?

mum: OH MY GOD

oi: ?

mum: you two better take good care of my son

mum: this is only rhe second time he used an emoji in this chat

oi: what was the first time?

mum: when he told hinata that he'd never hate him, despite his feelings being unrequited

oi: oh my

iwa: oh my indeed

kage: please stop, suga-san

mum: okay, i was only teasing ;)

kage: thank you

mum: np, now y'all get back to being cute

\---

 _private message between_ **nya** _and_ **n'y'all**

nya: despite everything i say

nya: and despite you being a fucking furry

nya: i do love you a lot, kuroo

nya: like, more than you could believe

nya: and i know it's 3am and you're going to be angry at me for staying up so late

nya: but i honestly don't know what i'd do without you?

nya: you mean so much to me and everything you do i'm eternally grateful for

nya: i definately don't express this enough

nya: i love you, kuroo

nya: thank you for everything

 **nya** _went offline_

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

shoyaoyaoya: i was just sitting around thinking

shoyaoyaoya: and i realised

shoyaoyaoya: i love yuu so god damn much?

shoyaoyaoya: i know i say it a lot in this chat, but it just occured to me how deep i am

shoyaoyaoya: i love him so much and if we ever broke up, i don't know how i'd survive?

shoyaoyaoya: he's become such a big part of my life and i love him eternally for it

shoyaoyaoya: and if i'm being completely honest, he's the best thing that ever happened to me

shoyaoyaoya: but, while i'm being all mushy, let me just say this

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for everyone on this team

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for suga-san, for always being caring and supportive

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for daichi, for always keeping us in line

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for asahi-san, for challenging me to his full potential to show me what a true ace is

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for kageyama, who was patient and kind even when i rejected him

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for yamaguchi, for being able to trust me with his problems

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for tsukishima for taking time out of his schedule to tutor me

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for tanaka-senpai for supporting me

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for the other second years because, despite not getting much court time, they still stay and smile and support us

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for yachi, for trying and becoming the new manager even though she was scared

shoyaoyaoya: i'm thankful for kiyoko-san for being there for us and supporting us 

shoyaoyaoya: i'm also thankful for the other teams

shoyaoyaoya: just

shoyaoyaoya: thank you

 **shoyaoyaoya** _went offline_

\---

 _private message between_ **dad** _and_ **mum**

dad: y'know, i'm grateful that you confessed that day

dad: even if it wasn't private

mum: i'm glad i confessed

mum: i couldn't ask for a better boyfriend (๑>◡<๑)

dad: i love you a lot, koushi

mum: i love you too, daichi

\---

**"appreciate and love everyone uwu"**

mum: that was so sweet, hinata

yams: i'm crying happy tears

dad: we love you, hinata

kage: that means so much to us

noyaoyaoya: we'll always love and support you

asahi: and nothing will change that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as an aro-ace girl, i believe that, yes, romantic relationships are important, but also friendships. to me, nothing is better than having a solid platonic relationship where you can always rely on the other person. that's all i want (,:


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shoyaoyaoya: i dont have to run laps if i quit the volleyball team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love jearmin & kagehina
> 
> excuse for no updates: aot wings of freedom
> 
> also sorry if my aussie comes through in this

mum: i'm really gay

shoyaoyaoya: déjà vu

yams: indeed

dad: koushi please not another 2am confession

mum: fine ill just love someone who appreciates me

mum: kageyama, do you want a third boyfriend?

kage: no

mum: well alright then

mum: daichi i love u

dad: yes i know now go to sleep

mum: .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

dad: sleep

mum: fine

 **mum** _went offline_

shoyaoyaoya: oh so suga's the whipped one this time around

dad: /this time/?

 **shoyaoyaoya** _went offline_

\---

iwa: happy birthday tooru

kage: happy birthday oikawa-san!

oi: ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

shoyaoyaoya: it's the grand king's birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

mum: happy birthday oikawa!

dad: happy birthday!

nya: happy birthday

yams: hbd!

n'y'all: happy birthday!

oi: (♡´❍`♡)*✧ ✰ ｡*

oi: thank you all!

yams: lol ur probably so old

oi: :(

oi: i'm only nineteen!

yams: o l d

yams: i'm only sixteen

oi: :(

yams: kags, both of your boyfriends are nineteen, how do you feel

kage: young

oi: :(

mum: is that all youre going to respond with?

oi: :(

mum: alrightly then

shoyaoyaoya: it's okay grand king! i don't think you're old

oi: someone appreciates my youth

yams: hinata you're old too

shoyaoyaoya: we're the same age

yams: you're the oldest out of us first years

shoyaoyaoya: no comment

yams: old

oi: shrimpy's the oldest???

yams: yes

yams: and kags is the youngest (;

oi: iwa-chan are we pedophiles

iwa: no you dumbass

oi: iwa-chan! don't call me a dumbass on my birthday! :(

kage: dumbass

oi: why don't my boyfriends appreciate me :(

kage: i do appreciate you, oikawa-san

oi: :):

kage: :)

oi: :)

iwa: ...

iwa: :)

shoyaoyaoya: yuu we have competition for cutest couple get ur ass over here

noyaoyaoya: it's not hard to beat them when theyre always teasing oikawa like that

mum: okay then

noyaoyaoya: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

mum: don't ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ me you little shit

noyaoyaoya: exuse

noyaoyaoya: i will fight you

mum: bring it on short cake

noyaoyaoya: hOW DARE YOU

mum: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

dad: koushi stop provoking the children

mum: THE children, daichi?

dad: koushi stop provoking *our children

mum: (〃ω〃)

shoyaoyaoya: //whipped

dad: ah yes laps for hinata tomorrow

shoyaoyaoya: .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

noyaoyaoya: it's okay shouyou i'll run with you

shoyaoyaoya: (๑>◡<๑)

kage: will you really though

noyaoyaoya: like half way

shoyaoyaoya: emoji revoked

noyaoyaoya: what can ya do

shoyaoyaoya: well for starters you can run with me the whole way

noyaoyaoya: no can do sorry bud

shoyaoyaoya: ...

shoyaoyaoya: wait

mum: what

shoyaoyaoya: i dont have to run laps if i quit the volleyball team

kage: dumbass i doubt you would survive without volleyball

shoyaoyaoya: shit youre right...

shoyaoyaoya: @kenma bring me nekoma application forms next time you visit

yams: my favourite thing is that he could've gone to seijoh or somewhere close but he chose nekoma, which is in tokyo

kage: he should've gone to shiratorizawa

oi: STOP

oi: ENOUGH

kage: it's okay oikawa-san he wouldn't have been able to get into shiratorizawa with those grades

shoyaoyaoya: OI

shoyaoyaoya: DIDNT YOU GET REJECTED FROM SHIRATORIZAWA

kage: we do not speak of that

shoyaoyaoya: as i thought

shoyaoyaoya: so kenma you gonna bring those forms or

\---

 _conversation between_ **yams** _,_ **mum** _,_ **kage** _and_ **shoyaoyaoya**

mum: yamaguchi, are you feeling better?

mum: you seem better in the main group chat

yams: honestly i dont know

yams: i just need more time to sort my head

mum: okay:(

mum: we're here for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like shit i'm so sorry this is so late,, my self esteem took a dive, i'm sick, my "anxiety" is acting up (i don't have diagnosed anxiety, but that's what my mum calls it :/), and overall i just feel horrible i'm so sorry guys, i'll try and update again soon


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> akaashi. has named the conversation "fuck you kuroo"

n'y'all: bo's always so quiet i miss him

n'y'all: i know what to do

nya: kuroo no

mum: oh my god no

iwa: anyone but him he doesn't deserve this

dad: ?

**n'y'all** _has added_ **akaashi.** _to_ **"love and appreciate everyone uwu"**

**akaashi.** _has named the conversation_ **"fuck you kuroo"**

**akaashi.** _went offline_

oi: HOLY SHIT

bokuhoot: DID I SEE AKAASHI's NAME

bokuhoot: oh

bokuhoot: he left :(

n'y'all: i'm sorry bo

n'y'all: i tried my best

bokuhoot: ily bro

n'y'all: <3

**akaashi.** _came online_

akaashi.: bokuto-san are you done with your freak out?

bokuhoot: AKASSHSI

akaashi.: apparently not

mum: yo akkashi

akaashi: hello sugawara-san, hello everyone else in this chat

**nya** _has changed_ **akkashi.** _'s name to_ **akahoot**

akahoot: i thought we were friends, kenma

nya: we are

nya: doesn't change the fact that all couples must have matching names in this chat

akahoot: oh.

akahoot: what are everyone's matching names?

mum: im mum, dai's das

nya: im nya, kuroo's n'y'all

shoyaoyaoya: i'm shoyaoyaoya and yuu/nishinoya is noyaoyaoya

kage: i'm kage, iwaizumi is iwa and oikawa is oi

mum: tsukishima and yamaguchi did match with gucci and prada but theyre sorting out personal matters right now

akahoot: makes sense

akahoot: kageyama, you have two boyfriends?

kage: yes but i love iwaizumi more

oi:  _[screenshot of chat]_

kage: that's irrelevant please go away oikawa-san

oi: i know where im not wanted!

iwa: then why are you at my house

oi: bonding time with my favourite boyfriend

kage: you cant pick favourites that's not fair

oi: you LITERALLY just said that you love iwa-chan more than me

kage:  _that's irrelevant please go away oikawa-san_

oi: why are my boyfriends such bullies

bokuhoot: HELLO IM BADK

bokuhoot: AKAASHI WE MATCH

akahoot: yes i am aware bokuto-san

bokuhoot: OKAY !!!

**bokuhoot** _went offline_

akahoot: ...

akahoot: he makes my heart soft

mum: !!!

\---

yams: tsukishima told me he wants to be added back in but i told him there's a 70% chance bokuto will be more active and he told me he's rather spend a whole day with akiteru

shoyaoyaoya: ISNT THAT HIS BROTHER

yams: indeed

mum: i dont think ill ever get used to hearing/seeing you say tsukishima

mum: it's just always been tsukki

yams: friendship level too high

yams: k wait he wants back in

**yams** _has added_ **tsukishima** _to_ **"fuck you kuroo"**

tsukishima: ive only just been added back but ive already been blessed by the group name

tsukishima: thank you to whoever changed it

akahoot: you're welcome

tsukishima: also @yamaguchi you can call me tsukki it was a friend thing before a couple thing

tsukishima: and hearing you say tsukishima weirds me out

yams: sorry tsukki

tsukishima: :)

mum: hhhhh

yams: ?

mum: nothing, dw

yams: okay

\---

**tsukishima** _has added_ **dad** _,_ **mum** _and_ **nya** _to the conversation_

tsukishima: what do i do?

tsukishima: fuck, i miss him

tsukishima: we don't even hang out as friends anymore

tsukishima: i get it, i'm an ass and he needs time to sort out his problems but i just

tsukishima: i miss him too much and i just wish i could have helped him instead of causing him to get worse

dad: tsukishima...

dad: you can clearly see that not being with you takes a toll on him

mum: dai's right

mum: he might seem the same, but he's not as happy as when you two were together

nya: yeah, i noticed too

nya: he seemed to avoid topics related to you and refused to tell us why you took a break

nya: i think he's hurting from this just as much as you are

dad: give him time, tsukishima

mum: he'll sort himself out soon

mum: that's a promise, okay?

tsukishima: ...yeah, okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yama is lowkey a reflection of me atm okay bye


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kage: yachi asked why he was gone for ages and he vaguely said you two fucked and yachi freaked out so he yelled
> 
> kage: wait let me copy it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why not
> 
> im actually laughing tho whenever i type shit my phone predicts "shitawhatever" bc thats what i called shiratorizawa for like 2 months

**shoyaoyaoya** _has added_ **tsukishima** _,_ **kage** _,_ **yams** _and_ **yachi** _to the conversation_

 **shoyaoyaoya** _has named the conversation_ **"first years :D"**

kage: okay but why

tsukishima: ^

shoyaoyaoya: i'd make up a good reason but honestly i just made this so we can rant about our gay problems without our s/os

yams: ...

shoyaoyaoya: shush you can just use your gay problem chat

yams: oh true

tsukishima: ...

kage: you say that as if you probably don't have one of your own

tsukishima: i will neither deny or confirm that accusation

tsukishima: anyway what's the reason you called us all here

shoyaoyaoya: right, so

shoyaoyaoya: at this very point in time

shoyaoyaoya: i am so fucking gay u wouldnt believe lmao

tsukishima: is that literally all you called us here for

shoyaoyaoya: yes but i am a firm believer in the fact that this chat can be used in future for Gay Struggles™

yachi: ah finally somewhere i can rant about kiyoko

yams: she's alive

yachi: shiut up

yams: shiut

yachi: a combination of shit and shut

yachi: shut the shit up

kage: wreck him

yams: why not "the fuck up"?

yachi: no swearing in suga's good christian household

yams: i just

yams: how do i respond to that

yachi: you don't

 **yams** _went offline_

kage: damn he went quiet

yachi: i feel kinda bad bu t

yachi: i didnt do anything too bad

yachi: tsukishima go revive your man

tsukishima: he's not "my man"

 **tsukishima** _went offline_

kage: but he went anyway

yachi: honestly those two better sort out their shit

kage: yamaguchi's mental health comes first

yachi: that's not what i meant

yachi: i only watch from the sidelines, so i can obviously tell when something wrong far easier than you guys can

yachi: theyre hesitant when talking to each other, they stand further apart than they used to and don't interact more than needed

yachi: it hurts to see and they just need to become at least friends again

kage: oh

kage: i agree

kage: now that i think about it, it does seem like that

yachi: i just want yamaguchi to he happy

kage: same

shoyaoyaoya: it's what he deserves

yachi: shit hinata where've you been?

shoyaoyaoya: well

shoyaoyaoya: being gay paid off

yachi: I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT

shoyaoyaoya: YOU ASKED

shoyaoyaoya: I COULE EXPLICITLY EXPLAIN EVERYTNINT HE DID TO ME IF YOUD LIKE HESUS CHRIST YACHI

yachi: AAAAHAH

kage: STOP SHOUTING

yachi: YOURE SHOUTING TOO

shoyaoyaoya: AHAGSSHAH

kage: CALM DOWN

shoyaoyaoya: I CANT IM LAUG HI NG tOO HARD

yachi: SCRE AM

kage: FOR FUCKS SAKE

kage: ILL ADD SUGA AND DAICHI IF YOU DONT CALM DOWN

shoyaoyaoya: yes sir we'll be good sir

yachi: sorry kageyama

kage: thank you god damn

\---

**"fuck you kuroo"**

noyaoyaoya: i came here to find out why shouyou was laughing so hard but there isnt one someone explain

yachi: first year's gc

noyaoyaoya: do ya wanna explain what was so funny or

yachi: NO

kage: yachi asked why he was gone for ages and he vaguely said you two fucked and yachi freaked out so he yelled

kage: wait let me copy it

yachi: N O

kage: "I COULE EXPLICITLY EXPLAIN EVERYTNINT HE DID TO ME IF YOUD LIKE HESUS CHRIST YACHI"

kage: and then everyone was shouting and it was a mess

noyaoyaoya: that was a wild ride

shoyaoyaoya: i dont regret making that gc

kage: i do


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm literally DEAD
> 
> HOPELESS FOUNTAIN KINGDOM IS SO GOOD
> 
> CHARLOTTE HAS MADE ME CRY TOO MANY TIMES + ITS GOT ONE OF MY ONLY STRAIGHT SHIPS + ITS THE ONLY ANIME IVE WATCHED AN OVA TO
> 
> KYOKAI NO KANATA IS SOME NO.6 SHIT IF I EVER DID SEE IT (the ending) AND I J U S T
> 
> anyway i feel better now but i might be moving houses soon so updates are still sporadic

**"it's hard to have a gaytime on your own"**

oi: okay so like

iwa: no

oi: I HAVENT EVEN SAID ANYTHING

iwa: i know it's going to be a bad idea

kage: ^

oi: okay i was literally just going to suggest we all call each other by our first names but nope you're stuck as "iwa-chan" for the rest of our lives

iwa: IM SORRY OIKAWA I WILL DO ANYTHING

oi: call me tooru from now on then

iwa: okay

iwa: ...tooru

kage: if i call you tooru will you drop the "-chan" from my name

oi: we'll see

kage: thank you tooru

\---

kage: wait what does this gc name mean

kage: where did it come from

oi: [it's hard to have a gaytime on your own](https://youtu.be/YshX_hzAXow)

kage: that was beautiful

kage: i kind of want one?

kage: is that bad?

oi: yes because they're australian

kage: :,(

iwa: you made him sad take it back

oi: i can't take back facts hajime!

oi: i would KILL for one of them and yet they're only australian!

kage: tooru please don't kill anyone

oi: bu t tobio !!! you s AW how good they looked!!

kage: ...

kage: i'll help you hide the body

iwa: no.

kage:  _[image]_

iwa: why do you have a photo of both of you pulling puppy eyes stop this isn't fair

kage: _[image]_

iwa: ...i'll cover our traces

kage: :D

oi: !! :]

\---

 **"fuck you kuroo** **"**

nya: shouyou are you a siscon

shoyaoyaoya: i'd sell her to you for 1/4 of a meat bun

shoyaoyaoya: anyway what brought this on

nya: i was watching something and one of the main characters was a siscon and i was wondering if you were like that too

shoyaoyaoya: natsu's like 4

nya: oh

nya: excuse my mistake

noyaoyaoya: if youre selling your sister can i have her

noyaoyaoya: she's cute

shoyaoyaoya: why have her when you can have the better hinata

noyaoyaoya: yeah that's exactly why i want her

nya: o h

shoyaoyaoya: fun fact guys i've literally never had a boyfriend before ahahhahaaha who's nishinoya yuu? i've never heard that name before, sounds like a rat :)

noyaoyaoya: you know i love you

shoyaoyaoya: ahaha who are you? :)

shoyaoyaoya: SHIT HE'S AT MY HOUSE

nya: how so fast

noyaoyaoya: i was omw over already so

noyaoyaoya: i broke shouyou btw how do i fix him

nya: show me the damage

noyaoyaoya:  _[image]_

nya: unfixable, sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life's pretty straight without twisties


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> n'y'all: give me one reason
> 
> akahoot: because fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters are gonna start getting shorter sorry

**"first years :D"**

yachi: y o

yachi: i asked kiyoko out and now we're going on a hot ass date rt your goals bitches

shoyaoyaoya: i've literally been dating yuu for months but okay

yams: tsukki and i dated for 3 years

yachi: but you're not together now, are you?

yams: ...

\---

yachi: DUDE DONT TELL ME

yachi: are you and tsukishima back together or ??

tsukishima: exposed

shoyaoyaoya: SERIOUSLY ??!?

yams: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

tsukishima: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

shoyaoyaoya: IMS CREAAMINF

yachi: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TEO WHAT THE HELL

**yams** _has changed their name to_ **gomen**

**tsukishima** _has changed their name to_ **tsukki**

shoyaoyaoya: THEYRE BAC K

yachi: LEGE ND S

\---

kage: wait what happened

kage: OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS GUYS

\---

**"fuck you kuroo"**

n'y'all: i dont see why we CANT change the group chat name

nya: we're not changing it

n'y'all: give me one reason

akahoot: because fuck you

n'y'all: one GOOD reason

tsukki: because we hate you

gomen: true

n'y'all: I WAS GOING TO BE ANGRY BUT YOUR NAMES

n'y'all: BRB TEXTING SUGA AND DAICHI

gomen: oh no

tsukki: indeed

mum: IVE BEEN TOLD THAT MY PRECIOUS SONS ARE MATCHING NAMES AGAIN?

dad: WHAT HE SAID ^

gomen: aha yes

tsukki: yes we're back together

gomen: we sorted it out and it was worse for me to be without tsukki, because i'd been with him for ages

gomen: we're not back to how we used to be but we're trying :)

mum: congrats <3

tsukki: thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wont be updates for a while,, i have heaps of edits to make + social interaction + im moving so sorry


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tsukki: nice one yamaguchi
> 
> gomen: shut up tsukki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> women! are cool, theyre really great. i wanna take them out ,,,,, oN A BOAT RIDE...YEAH ! we'll fish and stuff, (women think that im super tough) with my muscles,, 'cause i'm really strong—strong—but i wont ask them to suck my dong...RESPECT ! R-E-S-P-C-T ! djhakamshdjsjsns we're oN A BOAT RIDE

yachi: i cant believe i used to be scared of you guys you're all such dorks

shoyaoyaoya: that's how i feel about kageyama!!

kage: ...

oi: how can anyone be scared of tobio??

oi: he's always been cute!!

gomen: that was middle school kageyama

gomen: high school kageyama scares me

kage: :(

oi: stop you have committed an offence

gomen: sorry kageyama

oi: you better be >:(

gomen: i'm not but okay

tsukki: nice one yamaguchi

gomen: shut up tsukki

yachi: is this some weird parallel universe i stg you two

gomen: no tsukki just needs to shut up sometimes

n'y'all: that is true

tsukki: nobody asked you, you damn furry

n'y'all: you wound me, as always dear tsukki

tsukki: i will cut off your tongue

nya: don't do that

tsukki: i can do whatever i want

gomen: don't do that

tsukki: i can't do whatever i want

gomen: :)

yachi: yams has tsukishima wrapped around his finger and it's equally terrifying and amusing

tsukki: "gomen tsukki" is a lie he's a criminal mastermind

gomen: aha what? :)

tsukki: abort

 **tsukki** _went offline_

yachi: my biggest mood is tsukishima going offline when yams pulls out the smiley face

gomen: it's my biggest mood too

yachi: i feel like i should feel threatened

yachi: should i?

gomen: i don't know, should you? :)

 **yachi** _went offline_

gomen: aha who's next? :)

 **kage, oi, n'y'all** _and_ **nya** _went offline_

gomen: thought so :)

\---

mum: yamaguchi looks like a marshmallow irl why is he so threatening online

gomen: im threatening online BECAUSE i look like a marshmallow irl

mum: makes sense i guess

gomen: it makes perfect sense

dad: are you really that embarrassed about your personality?

gomen: this is my personality but people can kick my ass in real life

mum: THAT makes sense

mum: but one of us can literally come kick ur ass rn we know where your class is

shoyaoyaoya: speaking of @yuu where you at i want hugs

noyaoyaoya: i'm where i usually am?

shoyaoyaoya: okay im omw

noyaoyaoya: see you soon?

gomen: why do you sound so confused?

noyaoyaoya: he doesn't usually ask? he just comes over?

noyaoyaoya: so i'm kind of worried?

gomen: o h

gomen: good luck!

\---

noyaoyaoya: there was no need to be worried i-

noyaoyaoya: he looked so sad when he came so i asked what was wrong but he just held his arms open?

noyaoyaoya: so i hugged him and he brightened up immediately??

noyaoyaoya: so we're cuddling rn and he told me he was sad because hE MISSED ME ???

noyaoyaoya: i'm so in love right now you would not believe

gomen: you two are so cute

noyaoyaoya: i just want to protect and love him he's so adorable im so in love with him

kage: he can see these messages

noyaoyaoya: as he should

noyaoyaoya: can i not tell him that i love him?

kage: fair point

noyaoyaoya: he fell asleep im so gone

noyaoyaoya:  _[image]_

noyaoyaoya: so blessed

noyaoyaoya: hang this in a museum

noyaoyaoya: put it on my grave

noyaoyaoya: i don't care, really

noyaoyaoya: as long as people see this ART

mum: you're so in love :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i pl e a se write one chapter without thinking i should add some more rarepairs @ me u cANT ADD YAMAKAGE THEY BOTH HAVE BOYFRIENDS


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noyaoyaoya: he tripped over his own legs
> 
> gomen: what a hinata thing to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really need to sort out the tags on this but i'm lazy

oi: has anyone seen tobio? we're all supposed to be meeting up today

shoyaoyaoya: o h

oi: oh?

shoyaoyaoya: so THAT'S why i saw him jump into some bushes

oi: are you kidding me

shoyaoyaoya: kind of

shoyaoyaoya: he did jump into some bushes i don't think that was the reason though

kage: i was napping

iwa: in the bush?

kage: yes

kage: anyway where are you two i'll come find you

oi: we're where we said we'd meet up! check our chat tobio smh

kage: geez i'm coming calm down

shoyaoyaoya: i feel like your relationship is based off of mutual hate for each other

kage: i only hate tooru

iwa: ^^

oi: that's okay i hate both of you

oi: breaking news: oikawa tooru breaks up with his two boyfriends

kage: that's okay we didn't want you here anyway

oi: i have screenshots of when we all decided to date don't test me tobio

kage: i suddenly can't type

oi: that's right now get your cute ass over here

kage: i'm coming i'm coming

\---

shoyaoyaoya: hesmile.jpg

noyaoyaoya: helaugh.jpg

mum: why do you have pictures of kageyama on his date?

noyaoyaoya: shouyou and i had already planned a date and we happened to run into them

shoyaoyaoya: they don't know we're here we're just creepily watching them

mum: oh god

oi: no we know youre here

oi: i expect all the photos you take to be sent to me personally btw

shoyaoyaoya: COVER BLOWN ABORT

noyaoyaoya: RUN

oi: why can short people run so fast i don't understand

mum: big mood

oi: but like ??? if we didn't notice them before we sure as heck would have now ??

oi: they ran so fast i just ??

mum: is there anything hinata's legs can't do

mum: he can run, jump, what next?

kage: he can kick really hard

mum: are you speaking from experience?

kage: ...yes

gomen: just saying you probably deserved it

kage: i'd be offended but it's true

mum: kageyama what did you do now

kage: THAT i am offended by

kage: classified information sorry mum

mum: that's fair i guess

noyaoyaoya: shouyou fell over

mum: HOW

noyaoyaoya: he tripped over his own legs

gomen: what a hinata thing to do

shoyaoyaoya: HEY

noyaoyaoya: well,, it is a very /you/ thing to do

shoyaoyaoya: wow i love being abused :'(

gomen: huh

gomen: noya-san did you know about this kink of hinata's

shoyaoyaoya: ITS NOT A KINK

noyaoyaoya: oh?

shoyaoyaoya: :///

notaoyaoya: ?

shoyaoyaoya: [:///s aggressively]

noyaoyaoya: well okay then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u have any suggestions for new users for noya n hinata pls comment them im so sick of writinf their users theyre too goddamn long
> 
> && sorry for lack of updates,,, i moved


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kage: where do you keep getting these aggressively gay names?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for lack of updates
> 
> with the move and all, it's been difficult, plus i messed up my wrist and i'm working on a minute long amv which sucks so u h yeah thanks for sticking around
> 
> (rip all the characters i've forgotten about)  
> (and thank u to who came up w the noyahina names i can't remember who i'll put proper credits later i promise)

**noyaoyaoya** _has changed their name to_ **he protec**

 **shoyaoyaoya** _has changed their name to_ **he attac**

he protec: but most importantly

he attac: theysnac.jpg

gomen: did you really

he attac: is there a problem

gomen: yes

mum: no there isn't let them live yamaguchi

gomen: sorry mum

mum: i know youre not really but ill let that slide

gomen: because i'm cute?

mum: because you'll complain and i don't want to have to deal with that

he protec: get rekt scrub

mum: are we really bringing that back

he attac: yes get rekt

mum: wow ?? you want to be grounded ??? my pleasure !!!

he attac: NO SORRY I'LL DO ANYTHING

mum: anything?

mum: okay nvm ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

gomen: suga is either hella weak or devious

mum: /you/ however

mum: /are/ grounded

gomen: the tragedy

he protec: do you really not care

gomen: no because i can just bring tsukki down with me and he can't object because a) i've been with him for 3 years and counting so i know all his dark secrets and b) he loves me <3

he protec: a solid plan

he attac: i don't have enough dirt on yuu to make him do anything for me :(

he protec: i do stuff for you regardless of blackmail ???

he attac: that's true

he attac: but blackmail would still be nice

he protec: do you see how he treats me ;(

mum: yes it's wonderful

he protec: :(

\---

**"it's hard to have a gay time on your own"**

**oi** _has changed the name to_   **"life's pretty straight without twisties"**

kage: where do you keep getting these aggressively gay names?

oi: australia!

kage: really??

oi: yes indeed!

iwa: for a country without gay marriage legalisation they're really gay

oi: i know! i love it!

kage: gay icon, oikawa tooru

oi: yes yes!

iwa: you're so excited, did something happen?

oi: can't i just be excited? :((

oi: my two favourite people are talking to me without insulting me :((

kage: shit hajime we forgot to insult him

iwa: are we really your favourite people?

iwa: oh god yes we did tobio

oi: so mean!!

kage: we were joking

iwa: ^ we haven't arranged to insult you every time you talk

iwa: it just happens

oi: i don't know how i feel about that..

kage: feel happy you shitstick

\---

**"fuck you kuroo"**

akahoot: hi

mum: hello akaashi!

mum: what brings you here?

akahoot: i haven't opened the chat in a while, i thought i'd drop in and say hi, see how everyone's doing

n'y'all: so pure

n'y'all: i loVE IT

nya: yeah well you love a lot of things

n'y'all: that i do

nya: anyway, how are YOU doing akaashi?

n'y'all: so pure

mum: "i loVE IT"

n'y'all: you know me so well

akahoot: i'm doing well, actually

akahoot: bokuto-san has been a little bit quieter lately so it's a lot calmer

akahoot: not enough to warrant concern, but still quieter 

mum: how do you deal with bokuto? no offense intended, i just need to learn better ways to take care of hinata, nishinoya and tanaka those little fuckers

gomen: suga went from calm to aggresive in .01 seconds

kage: noya and hinata cancel each other out

mum: ??

kage: have you never seen them interact?

mum: of course ??

kage: of course, a lot of the time theyre both hyper and jumping off of the walls, but most of the time they're calm and, dare i say, "soft"

gomen: ^ have you seen how hinata talks about noya? and vice versa?

gomen: they both have endless amounts of energy but they're so calm together

mum: .. :,)

gomen: are you okay ???

dad: alright, why the hell is koushi crying?

akahoot: scroll up

mum: theYRE SO SOFT AND CUTE HOW DID I NOT NOTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: let's make a chatfic and include all my ships xd xd  
> also me: ships noyahina, yakunoya, tsukkiyama, yamakage, yamahina, tsukkikage, oikage, iwaoi, daisuga, semisuga, oisuga,,,,,, eveRY FUCKING SHIP UNDER THE SUN
> 
> anywy, what are y'alls fave rarepairs? mine are noyahina and yamakage bc i cant choose


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a bad case of the Sads™
> 
> this is hella short sorry but i planned the next chapter out so it'll be longer
> 
> dw it'll be happy

**"life's pretty straight without twisties"**

**oi** _has named the conversation_   **"gays on boats are my worst nightmare"**

iwa: i refuse to believe that you're not making these up

oi: i don't know whether to be offended or feel complimented

oi: on one hand, it's nice that you think i'm creative enough to come up with these

oi: but on the other hand, you're doubting my genius research skills

kage: so this also came from australia?

oi: yep!

oi: you can google it if you don't believe me!

iwa: um, sure?

oi: >:(

\---

**"fuck you kuroo"**

asahi: we're graduating soon

mum: okay so ur inactive for months and come back and say this ur fucking dead

dad: koushi!

mum: ahem sorry asahi

oi: he's got a point though

oi: graduation's coming up really fast

mum: i don't accept this negativity here

oi: think about it though

oi: we're gonna leave our juniors behind amd all we can do is hope that we left them in the best hands

 **nya** _and_ **akahoot** _left_ **"fuck you kuroo"**

oi: ??

n'y'all: kenma and akaashi are second years

n'y'all: bo and i are third years

oi: oh

gomen: everyone's losing something

gomen: karasuno's losing the people that keep our team together

gomen: nekoma and fukurodani's setters are losing their s/os

kage: i'm losing my boyfriends

kage: we're not even at the same school but fuck it hurts just thinking about it

kage: don't fall in love with third years unless you are a third year

**kage** _left_ **"fuck you kuroo"**

oi: oh

**mum** _has named the conversation_ **"Sads™"**

mum: sad

n'y'all: i can't even feel happy about the group name being changed

n'y'all: i'm too sad

\---

he attac: c'mon guys! graduation may be close but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to enjoy the end of school!

mum: thanks hinata

mum: that means a lot

mum: it's just

mum: kind of hard

he attac: it must be scary, but i know you all can do it! you're all perfectly ready for adulthood!

dad: thank you hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'all mind if i,,, u h,,, break ur hearts a lil?


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iwa added tendowo and semisemi to the conversation
> 
> ny’all: TENDOWO
> 
> nya: shut UP ur user is NY’ALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,, long time no see ? i started writing this a month ago and got lost in rarepair hell so i forgot i write my own fics on here

**"gays on boats are my worst nightmare"**

kage: are you guys okay with meeting up today? i have something i want to talk about

oi: ?? yeah sure

iwa: always

iwa: you okay?

kage: yeah

\---

**"Sads™"**

**mum** _has added_ **nya, akahoot** _and_ **kage** _to the chat_

mum: they be back

nya: back we be

oi: are you guys okay? i didn't mean to upset you guys

akahoot: i'm fine

nya: ^ i guess

kage: yeah

mum: time to take our minds off of that!

mum: does anyone have any good news to share

he protec: shouyou sent me another Long Sweater Selfie™ and i am blessed

he attac: that was a seCRET

he protec: at least i didn't send the picture

he attac: ...

he attac: that's very true

n'y'all: i am intrigued

nya: it was probably a nude

n'y'all: i am no longer intrigued

he attac: kenma!! >:(

nya: no denial ??

he attac: shit

mum: not in my good christian neighbourhood!!

he attac: shit

 **he attac** _went offline_

he protec: look what you did kozume!

nya: i didn't send you a nude though

nya: so it's not my fault

n'y'all: oh

mum: oh

he protec: o h

mum: filthy sinners

gomen: this is why im the pure child now

mum: exactly ^

he protec: i refuse to believe that you have never sent a nude in your life

he protec: you've been with tsukishima for three dang years

gomen: i haven't, actually

tsukki: yeah 'cause skype is a thing

gomen: TSUKKI

gomen: i'm supposed to be the pure child >:(

mum: okay so you've just been bending the truth nice

dad: if you're going to pic a new pure child then i nominate kageyama

mum: why so?

dad: i don't know how to explain it but he deserves it

oi: ^^

oi:  _[screenshot]_

kage: tooru!!

oi: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

\---

Kageyama was nervous. Oh  _god_ he was so nervous. He was the only one that had arrived, so he settled for drumming his fingers against the table in impatience.

He was ready to give up, if he was being honest. The stress felt too much for him to handle, but he had to do this. It would only worsen if he didn't.

Kageyama sighed, resting his head in his hands, leaning against the table. How much longer were they going to be?

As soon as he thought that, he heard the door to the shop open, and, lord behold, it was Oikawa and Iwaizumi. That only made him more nervous. The fact they they were here and he had to actually say what he wanted to say twisted his gut.

They walked up to Kageyama when they spotted him, hand in hand, and god was Kageyama frightened.

They sat opposite him, both smiling warmly.

"Hi, T-Tooru, Hajime," he stuttered. Oh god. They're going to know that something's wrong.

As if on cue, Iwaizumi reached out a hand and placed it on top of Kageyama's own, asking a tender, "you okay?"

Kageyama decided enough was enough, and shook his head.

”I’ve been thinking, after what Tooru said, and I, um...”

Something seemed to click in Oikawa’s brain, seen as he started smiling sadly at his younger boyfriend.

”You want to break up before graduation, don’t you?” he asked. Iwaizumi, shocked, looked back and forth between his boyfriends.

Kageyama nodded slowly. “It’d be best. You’ll still have each other, and I’d, personally, feel more comfortable not having to...ugh... _deal with_? Not being able to see you—less than I do now, even.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were looking at him sadly by the time he was finished.

”I-if that’s what you really want...” the eldest trailed off.

”Then I guess we have no choice,” Oikawa finished for him. He reached forward, ruffling Kageyama’s hair lightly. “I don’t regret dating you, Tobio. We’ll always be here if you decide this choice wasn’t for the best.”

Iwaizumi nodded, not trusting himself to do anything but smile at his now-ex boyfriend. They stood up and left, leaving Kageyama to sit in the booth, head in his hands.

\---

**"Sads™"**

**kage** _changed their name to_ **milk**

mum: oh? ):

milk: long story short, it’s because they’re graduating

milk: it’s stress on not only me but on them as well

mum: i guess that makes sense ):

milk: stop please

mum: okay

\---

mum: we should close this chat

he attac: what? why ??

mum: as kageyama said

mum: graduation

mum: we could open up another one later but... this one just makes me sad, thinking that it’ll all me gone

dad: i agree

oi: same

ny’all: me too

mum: we’ll close it on graduation day, then

he attac: ):

mum: in the meantime, does anyone know any two people with unresolved romantic tension?

he attac: why??

mum: bc

 **mum** _has named the conversation_ **”professional confession club™“**

mum: confess

gomen: start w a confession, end w a confession

gomen: i like it

mum: so does anyone know some ppl?

iwa: i know two people, but tooru won’t like it

oi: hajime dont tell me

iwa: tendou and semi from shiratorizawa

oi: IWACHAN HOW DO YOU KNOW PEOPLE FROM SHIRATORIZAWA

iwa: well i have to do SOMETHING when youre arguing with ushiwaka!

oi: fair i guess

mum: add them iwaizumi

iwa: what makes you think i can

mum: why would you mention them if u cant contact them?

iwa: fair

 **iwa** _added_ **tendowo** _and_ **semisemi** _to the conversation_

ny’all: TENDOWO

nya: shut UP ur user is NY’ALL

ny’all: URS IS NYA

nya: bc of stupid matching couple names

ny’all: >;)

semisemi: um excuse what the fuck

mum: semi!! there are CHILDREN present!

he attac: SUGA SAN WE ARE ALL SIXTEEN AND OLDER

mum: C H I L D R E N

semisemi: i repeat: what the fuck

semisemi: why were tendou and i added to a chat with random other school vbcs titled “professional confession club™“

gomen: at least he remembered the ™

semisemi: science please explain

ny’all: scroll up

iwa: DONT DO THAT

ny’all: scared smth will happen to u? (:

ny’all: bc u ratted them out? (:

iwa: sh u t u p

ny’all: it’s ur fault (:

semisemi: iwaizumi literally wtf i’m omw to seijoh rn to kick ur fuckin ass

iwa: try me semi

tendowo: why is semi screaming

tendowo: oh well then

gomen: how fast can you even read

tendowo: very :)

tendowo: why so angry eita-kun :)

semisemi: iwaizumi’s accusing us of something that’s not real

tendowo: oh, both of us?

semisemi: ...tendou?

tendowo: semi, i like you

semisemi: what

tendowo: how dense can you be?

tendowo: i’ve liked you since first year

tendowo: the whole team knew

tendowo: IWAIZUMI KNEW

iwa: H E Y

tendowo: please respond, semi

semisemi: u called me dense and then expect me to respond? fuck u tendou

tendowo: ):

semisemi: but i guess i like you too...go out with me?

tendowo: (: yes

mum: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

semisemi: FUCKING

semisemi: SUGA I KNEW YOU WERE BEHIND THIS PREPARE TO DIE

mum: but you got together w ur crush, didnt you? you should thank me

semisemi: fuck u but thank u

mum: u know what i’ll take it

 **he attac** _has changed_ **semisemi** _’s name to_ **semiowo**

semiowo: literally wha T THE FUCK

he attac: matching couple names (:

semiowo: i hate this group chat

\---

mum: i guess this is the end

dad: no

mum: of the group chat

mum: jesus fucking christ daichi i’m not overdramatic like asahi ofc we’ll come back and visit

dad: oh

asahi: H E Y

he attac: it was good while it lasted

he protec: great, even

milk: ...yeah

he attac: oh kageyama ):

milk: i guess it was in a way, because i got to get over you

he attac: :)

gomen: so this is it?

mum: yeah

mum: goodbye eveyone

mum: we’ll catch up soon! :)

 **mum** _has reset all nicknames_

 **Suga** _has closed the conversation_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic was fun but the stress of having every damn character was too much :)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this fic as much as i did, and stay tuned bc tomorrow, i’m posting a fic of the first years (now second years) gc ! it will be on this timeline, so ye, i didn’t wanna stop writinf a texting fic but this one was too stressful :)
> 
> i guess i’ll see y’all if u read the new fic? idk, i look forward to seeing y’all again :D


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